


We're Both Still Alive

by kyanitedragon



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, M/M, Polyamorous relationship, Slow Burn, although there will still be angst, and lots of fluff, and now its kinda a fix-it fic, lots of character interactions, mentions of cannibalism, not too much violence just some gore mentions because of the V14 fight, this started as a drabble but then I got more ideas, will update tags as I post more chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-02-08 15:43:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12867774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyanitedragon/pseuds/kyanitedragon
Summary: DISCONTINUEDKaneki survived V14, but is now severely wounded. Hide finds him and Kaneki never becomes the Investigator Haise Sasaki. Instead, he and Hide try to figure out a way to stay together while avoiding the CCG.





	1. Chapter 1

Kaneki's dream slowly faded away, and everything suddenly turned black. He couldn't tell if he was still dreaming or not. Then he felt the numb pain his body was in. His abdomen. The back of his head. Both of his eyes. His throat was sore. Didn't he have fast regeneration? How long had it been? He just laid there for a few moments, thinking back.

The surprise raid on Anteiku. Fighting Doves. Fighting the man called Amon. V14. Everyone dead. The Reaper. He was going to die. He was stabbed. Something goING THROUGH HIS HEAD. PAIN. SO MUCH PAIN. HIS BRAIN. PAIN.

The numb pain got worse as he remembered, especially in his eyes and the back of his head. He couldn't help but let out a moan and writhe to try to reduce even some of the pain. Just why did this have to happen to him? Why did he need to fight? Why did he need to be a ghoul?

He heard a gasp come from someone, and his heart skipped a beat. He wasn't alone here. It had to be the CCG. He'd probably been captured. He lost. He was probably in Cochlea now. About to be questioned. Interrogated. Executed?

He froze in fear. Maybe he could pretend he was still sleeping. He heard the taps of shoes as someone approached. A human.

He felt hunger in his gut. Of course he hadn't eaten in a while. That must have been why he wasn't healing.

The human came closer. He could smell them so well. There was no protection between them. No glass, or any other kind of barrier. This human was an idiot.

His stomach began to hurt. He was hungry. The hunger caused a headache, even more pain being added to his head. He bit back another groan of pain. He just wanted it to stop. He had been through enough, hadn't he?

This human was a Dove, probably sent to interrogate him. Kill him if he moved or tried anything. But they were open at the moment, Kaneki could sense it. It would be so easy. It was his only chance. He had to take it.

Letting his sense of smell and his instincts take over, Kaneki lunged himself toward the scent. He couldn't tell how far he leapt, but he managed to successfully tackle down the human. He had little strength left, but it still surpassed a human's, and he easily held the body down. Either the human had no weapon to begin with, or it was knocked away once he tackled them down. The body was small and not too muscular, probably just someone low-ranked sent to check on him. The CCG probably thought Kaneki was still unconscious. This was his only chance! It was perfect! He could eat, heal, and escape! He could find everyone! The pain would stop!

He inhaled deeply to estimate where his prey was, and he could feel his nose flaring. He opened his mouth wide and bared his teeth, inching closer.

"K-Kaneki! Stop!"

Kaneki let out a combination of a gasp and a choke, and froze. That voice...

His stomach growled painfully, but he couldn't do it. Not _him_.

Releasing his grip on the human, he allowed his body to collapse and fall to the human’s side. He curled into a fetal position, hugging his stomach, trying to bare through the pain, gritting his teeth.

"Kaneki!" Kaneki felt hands rest comfortingly on his side.

"I'm sorry!" Kaneki choked out. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Just go! Run, Hide! I don't know how much longer I can hold back!"

"I'm not leaving you! How can I help? How can I get you food?"

"You can't." Kaneki couldn't let Hide harm anyone, or put himself into danger, or sacrifice himself.

"Those brown packages. Is that it? I took some from your apartment."

Kaneki nodded, he was in too much pain to question how Hide knew or when he got them. He could hear as Hide took off running. "Just hold on Kaneki, hold on" he kept chanting. And then he was running back, grabbing Kaneki's hand and forcing the package inside his hand. Kaneki gripped it, shoved Hide away, uttered a quick "Don't watch!" and turned around and ate. He hoped Hide would listen and respect his wish, but being currently blind, he had no way of knowing if he did.

The guilt hit him once he had finished eating. He had attacked Hide and then shoved him away when he was only trying to help. He could still smell Hide behind him. His hunger was mostly sated for now, but Hide still smelled good to him, and Kaneki hated it.

"...I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I mean, you were just fighting the CCG so it's not like you would have expected me. And I know you were hungry and out of it, so please don't blame yourself. And that shove? It startled me, but you didn't hurt me." He could smell and sense Hide getting closer, and then he felt something soft- a napkin- get tucked into his hand. "I'm still not looking, by the way. Promise. But tell me when I can."

Kaneki wiped his face, hopefully leaving it with no trace of his meal. He wrapped up the package best he could to hopefully hide anything that was left, and then turned back around so he would be facing Hide again.

"Okay, you can look now..."

"Can I come closer? Can I hug you? Is that okay?" Hide asked.

Kaneki nodded, and kept nodding until he felt Hide's arms wrapping around him. Hide held him with such gentleness, obviously afraid of hitting any of his wounds. Kaneki squeezed harder, some pain flaring in his body but he didn't care. He was with Hide again.

"I shouldn't have made you fight Arima. I should have gotten you out of there sooner."

"It's not your fault. You had no way of knowing how the fight would go. We're both still alive."

"We're both still alive..." Hide repeated. They sat there in each other's embrace for several minutes before finally Hide suggested, "How about we get off the floor? Do you want to lay back in bed or sit on the couch?"

"Couch, I'll be up for a while."

Hide helped him up, and lead him to sit on the couch. Hide sat beside him, hugging him again.

"I'm glad you’re awake. I was starting to get really worried..." Hide whispered.

"I'm sorry I worried you. I'm okay. Everything will heal." _I hope_ , went unspoken.

"Kaneki, I know you probably don't want to talk about this, but it's important. I only have 3 of those packages left. How often do you need to eat? And where can you get more? Or, uh, other sources of food?"

Kaneki sighed, but he understood the importance. "Ghouls usually eat every day to every few days. I can try to push it off as much as I can. It might work since I'm probably not going anywhere anytime soon, so I won't need a lot of energy."

"You still need to eat enough to heal." Hide pointed out. "So this will last 3 more days, maybe 6 at maximum." Kaneki nodded. "Is there anything else you can eat?"

Kaneki shook his head sadly. "Just coffee, but that won't help my healing or my hunger..." Maybe he could get more packages. "Is Anteiku still around?" Kaneki asked. He hated asking it out loud. Anteiku still had to be there! Everyone was okay! The raid was over, the CCG found no evidence of the two ghoul groups being connected to Anteiku, and Touka and Nishiki were fine and life was back to normal! That had to have been what happened after the raid!

"...No."

Kaneki swore under his breath. All that fighting... Their sacrifices. The deaths. For nothing. He wasn't even sure who died and who survived during the raid.

"Anteiku's been abandoned.” Hide continued. “The CCG had suspicions, and after that fight and the abandonment, it was pretty much confirmed. It was raided and closed off to the public. I'm sorry..."

"Did they catch anyone?" Kaneki asked, holding his breath. _Please say no._

"No. Touka-chan and Nishio-senpai have disappeared, but I know they weren't captured. I’m pretty sure no one was captured, but there were plenty of ghouls killed."

"How would you know? Last time I checked, they don't reveal much about ghouls to the public."

"I, uh... I joined the CCG."

"What?!" Kaneki asked, panic in his voice.

"Calm down! I'm not going to turn you in or anything!"

"I-I know! I mean, I kinda figured and hoped you wouldn't? But that's not what's worrying me. Hide..." He shook his head, overwhelmed by all this information. "Ghouls are dangerous." He let out a humorless laugh. "I left to keep you safe, and all along you were putting yourself in dangers' way...."

"I joined to find you and help you, never anything more. I knew about you, and Nishio-senpai, and Touka-chan. And I don't know their names, but I'm guessing everyone who worked at Anteiku were ghouls? I never turned anyone in. I tried to lead the CCG off the Anteiku case but... obviously that didn't work... I don't think I ended up accomplishing anything..."

"Hide. Thank you. Really." He blindly reached out to grab Hide's left shoulder, and squeeze affectionately to show how much it meant. And then Kaneki furrowed his brows, and added in a serious tone, "But never do it again."

Hide put a hand on his and squeezed. "If I leave now, it'll be suspicious. But I'll be careful, I swear! Things have calmed down a lot since the raid." Kaneki frowned, but nodded in understanding anyway. He trusted Hide. "So, the packages. Any other ways?"

"Maybe if we could find anyone from Anteiku..."

"I haven't had any luck."

"Even if you did, what would you say to them?"

"Well, I could mention you-"

Kaneki cut him off. "Hide... They don't know you. And they're full ghouls. They aren't going to trust you so easily. Especially if they know you're a Dove."

"Dove?"

"Sorry. It's what Ghouls call the CCG Investigators."

"I'm not an Investigator. I'm just an errand boy."

"It doesn't matter. You're involved with the CCG, and they'll assume the worst."

"So we can talk about it and I can explain myself and we’ll take it slow."

"Hide." Kaneki’s voice was completely serious.

"...Yes?"

"Touka threatened to kill you if I told you about me." Hide went silent. Kaneki could imagine a look of horror on his face. "And Nishiki has already tried to kill you before. Please, don't talk to them."

"Oh. A-alright, Kaneki. So then what?"

Kaneki sighed. He wouldn't have any way to find dead ghouls in this ward. Most got picked up by the CCG to make quinques or who knows what else. At least Yomo showed him the ropes to find suicide victims when he first joined... He wouldn't like it, but it was hundreds of times better than the alternate option.

"Uh, Earth to Kaneki?" Hide asked. Kaneki could sense a bit of fear in his voice. It was then that Kaneki realized that Hide didn't know how he got his food. What did he think? What did he assume? ...What did he think Kaneki was thinking of right now?

"Hide. As hard and awkward as this is for me, you deserve to know. And it'll make this easier. Um, first off. I don't hunt people."

"That's good. But then, um... Someone else does?"

"No. I mean, sometimes? I guess? Not what I, er, eat though. Um..." He took a few seconds to decide how to explain and work up the confidence to speak, before finally continuing. "The ghouls at Anteiku are nice, and they don't want to hurt people if they can help it. So, they find dead bodies. Suicide victims. A-and there's also ghouls out there that can't hunt or refuse to. And Anteiku helps them out. Like me."

"Well that's good. I'm glad they were there for you."

"And then, when I left. I, uh... I wasn't in a very good ward. I started eating ghouls."

"Oh right. Your file said you're a half-kakuja."

"My file? You read my file?" Kaneki asked. He felt violated, in a way. How much did the CCG know about him? How much did Hide already know about him?

"Yeah. But, continue."

"That's... pretty much it. This ward has the CCG everywhere. I doubt I could find any dead ghouls, and it's not fair to hunt them either. So that just leaves..." Kaneki trailed off. "Give me those 6 days. Hopefully my eyes will heal by then. You don't need to get involved."

\---

"I'm going to eat dinner. If it bothers you, just tell me and I'll move and eat in the other room. Do you want anything?"

"Do you have coffee?"

"I do, but I'm not very good at making it."

"That's okay. I'll teach you once I'm healed. Just black coffee. No milk or sugar."

They talked a little about normal things while Hide made coffee for Kaneki and dinner for himself. And then Hide came back, grabbing Kaneki's hand and carefully placing the coffee mug inside his hands. Kaneki could feel the couch dip as Hide sat beside him. He could smell Hide's food. It smelled disgusting, and Kaneki couldn't even place what type of food it was.

"Do you mind...?" Kaneki asked as he blindly inched himself closer to Hide, hoping to not fall and spill hot coffee on him.

"It's fine." Hide said, a happy tone in his voice. "I just thought this food would bother you."

"It does. I don't care. I just... want to be near you." Kaneki whispered, nuzzling closer.

"I do too..." Hide seemed to lean in towards him a little bit as well. Or maybe he was just moving or adjusting himself, it was hard to tell. Kaneki took a sip of coffee, and made a face.

Hide laughed lightly, "I warned you it would be bad."


	2. Chapter 2

Hide spent the entire day at Kaneki's side. He put on movies and kept conversations going. Eventually Kaneki started to yawn.

"Go ahead and sleep, you probably need it." Hide told him softly. "Oh, do you want to sleep in a bed instead?" 

"This is fine."

"Uh..." Hide began. "This might sound weird, but... do you mind if I stay here? For the night?"

"You... want to sleep on the couch with me?" 

"Yeah, if you don't mind..."

From his tone, it was obvious Hide was embarrassed about it. Hide had been so concerned about him all day. He didn’t seem to want to leave his side. And after leaving him for 6 months, Kaneki couldn’t really blame him.

"It’s fine with me, but I’m not sure if we can both fit."

“On a bed, then?”

"Good idea."

Hide had to lead the blind ghoul to his room. Once Kaneki was settled, Hide laid behind him and spooned him. Kaneki felt extremely awkward laying with Hide like that. They were close friends, but they had never been this close before. Kaneki expected it to be awkward, but it was actually really nice. He had been separated from Hide for far too long.

All that time he had worried that Hide would be afraid of him or hate him, but Hide acted just like old times. Kaneki was grateful for it. His life had been crazy and unexpected and downright terrifying since he became a ghoul. Although he was injured and blind, he almost felt like his life was normal again being with Hide.

"I was really worried..." Hide suddenly whispered, pulling Kaneki out of his thoughts. He thought Hide was asleep, judging from his previous silence. "Your wounds seemed so bad, and for a while they weren’t healing. I thought that you were..." Hide trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. He rested his head against the back of Kaneki's shoulder.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like that..." Kaneki replied softly. From how painful his wounds were, he couldn’t imagine it was a pretty sight to see the shape he was in.

Hide tightened his embrace a little more, but said nothing else.

“Goodnight, Hide…” 

_\--2 days earlier--_

_Hide stared at his best friend's unconscious body. He couldn't take watching him from this far away anymore. Kaneki’s bandages were bloody despite being just applied, and he could barely see Kaneki's chest moving. He almost looked dead._

_Hide sat on the couch, gently placing Kaneki's head in his lap, and placing a hand over Kaneki’s chest. Hide closed his eyes, feeling Kaneki's breathing and heartbeat under his hand. He tried to imagine it a normal day, Kaneki staying over at his house._

_A sleepover._

_Instead of the reality of Kaneki being injured and bandaged in his lap, missing both of his eyes._

\--- 

It was the second day of Kaneki being awake. Hide had work at the CCG today. He didn't want to go, he wanted to stay at home and make sure Kaneki was okay and safe and not bored, but he knew he couldn't risk missing work and being suspicious. He called up the office, and managed to convince them to give him a later shift. He spent the morning and afternoon with Kaneki.

Or, tried to. Kaneki kept avoiding Hide. It was the complete opposite of the night before. Hide kept trying to make physical contact and comfort him, but Kaneki always moved away from him. Hide was disappointed, but he also understood. Kaneki wasn't a very intimate person. He liked his space. Yesterday was probably just a one-time thing. So as much as Hide wanted to hug and comfort Kaneki more, he respected his space.

Once it was almost time for him to go to work, he made (bad-tasting) coffee for Kaneki, put on the TV for him, left a few water bottles at his side, and said a quick goodbye before leaving.

After his work was done, Hide grabbed take-out dinner and headed back to his apartment as fast as he could. He came back to Kaneki curled up in a fetal position and sleeping on the couch. There was a bit of room left, so he slipped beside Kaneki's feet, put on his headphones, and ate his dinner.

Kaneki suddenly jerked, kicking Hide and snapping him out of his music and thoughts. Pulling off his headphones, he realized Kaneki was making groaning sounds. He must be having a nightmare. He was muttering numbers under his breath. Numbers in the 900's.

"Kaneki." He gently shook him.

"Don't want... Eat."

"Kaneki!" He shook a little harder. "It's just a dream."

With his eyes bandaged, it was hard to tell at what point Kaneki had awoken. 

"Hide!" Kaneki gasped, shooting upwards only to wince and hold his side in pain.

"Calm down. Move slowly."

"It hurts..."

Hide couldn’t imagine how painful his wounds must be. "Can you take painkillers?"

"No..."

"Anything I can do?"

"I don't know..." Kaneki sounded so broken. Hide wanted to help, but knew there wasn't any way he could. All he could do was comfort and hug his friend. So Hide just soothingly rubbed Kaneki's back, hoping to eventually guide him into a hug. Kaneki gripped Hide's shirt, pulling himself closer to Hide, just like Hide had wanted him to. Kaneki's body was shaking, and Kaneki put his head in the crook of Hide's shoulder. Hide just continued to comfort his friend, glad that Kaneki wasn't pushing him away like earlier. 

In this moment, it was hard to believe that Kaneki was considered a dangerous SS-ranked ghoul. Eyepatch. Renamed Centipede. A half-kakuja. Kaneki’s hair was now white instead of black. But Hide never doubted him. Even after those reports of him brutally taking down ghouls. Kaneki was still Kaneki.

Hide could feel tears land on his neck and shoulder. And from how it felt, Kaneki must have been crying a lot. After a few moments, the wetness began to dry, and a sticky feeling was left behind.

...Those weren't tears, where they?

Hide didn't care. He trusted Kaneki. He knew Kaneki was in control of himself right now. Kaneki would never risk it otherwise. But Hide still felt fear. He hated that he did, although he knew it was an expected and natural reaction for a human to be so close to a ghoul. He squeezed Kaneki a bit tighter, trying his best to push those thoughts away.

"I'm sorry..." Came Kaneki's broken voice again. He pulled himself away, drool dripping down his chin. He wiped it away, and then pulled his legs up and hugged himself. He expected Hide to be trying to get away from him.

"Shh. You can't help it." Hide said soothingly. "Is this why you've been avoiding me all day?" Kaneki nodded slowly. "Do you want to eat?" Kaneki shook his head. “Just let me know if you do. We'll get through all of this together, okay?"

Kaneki carefully touched his bandaged eyes, and shamefully nodded.

\---

"Hey... You guys get the casualty list at the CCG, right?" Kaneki asked out of nowhere the following afternoon.

"Yeah, why?" Hide asked.

"That man... Amon. Is he alive?"

Oh right. Amon had several run-ins with Kaneki.

"Um... He's listed as killed in action..." Hide barely knew him, but he seemed like a good man.

Kaneki seemed to be in shock. "He's dead..." Hide couldn't tell if it was a statement or a question.

"Yeah.... I'm sorry. I didn't know you knew anyone in the CCG..."

"I didn't. That's the problem."

"Huh?" Hide asked, not understanding.

"I... I killed him."

"What?" Hide knew Kaneki, he would never kill anyone. Eyepatch had never killed any investigators or humans. Just ghouls. Why would he have now?

"I, I was hoping I didn't hit him too hard. I didn't want to kill him. But his attacks were getting stronger and stronger. I had to hurry. I had to save the Manager! I couldn't hold back anymore! I...! What have I...!"

"Kaneki!" Hands gripped Kaneki's shoulders, and Kaneki focused on his friend’s voice and presence in front of him. "Calm down! Whatever you did, I don't think you were the cause of his death. He was reported to be missing. I'm sure some other ghoul killed him, not you."

"You mean some other ghoul finished the job." Kaneki said bitterly.

"I didn't-"

"I know that's not what you meant." Kaneki sighed. “I wish we had met under better circumstances… Did you know him?”

“Not all too well…”

“He seemed like he was willing to understand ghouls. He wanted to talk to me one day. I thought I was bringing ghouls and humans together, but then…”

Hide squeezed Kaneki's hand. "I know it's a lot different but, I want to understand ghouls too. I always did, actually. You becoming one just made me want to more."

 ---

“Do you mind if I ask you something?” Hide asked.

“Sure. What?”

“Why is your hair white? Not that I don’t like it, but why’d you decide to dye it? Not that it looks bad, but it doesn’t seem like your style. Did someone suggest that color?”

Kaneki tilted his head down, and he began fidgeting with his fingers. He ran his fingertips along his nails and fingers, and then he took his thumb and began to push down on and crack his fingers.

“It’s… not dyed…”

“Huh?” Hide asked, cocking his head. Not dyed…? What, it turned white naturally? Kaneki wasn’t an old man yet! Hide opened his mouth to ask, but Kaneki seemed distressed about it. Probably better not to ask right now. “I know I’ve hugged you already, but can I touch your hair?”

“Um, sure? Uh, just be careful!”

“Of course, man!”

Being sure to avoid hitting his eye injuries that went through his head, Hide gently pet the top of Kaneki’s head. Just as he thought, Kaneki’s white hair was really soft. It had always been soft, but it seemed even softer now. Maybe because it seemed a touch longer? Curious of how long it was now, Hide grabbed a small fistful, making sure not to tug any of Kaneki’s hair. But Kaneki let out a gasp, and a hand suddenly grabbed a hold of Hide’s arm with a desperate grip. Hide immediately released his hold on Kaneki’s hair.

“Don’t.” Kaneki said, sounding as if he got the wind knocked out of him.

“Sorry, did I hurt you?” Hide asked. He didn’t think he did.

Kaneki scooted a few inches further from Hide, and put a hand on his chin. “I’m fine…” 

He definitely was not, but Hide didn’t want to push him for answers like this. So Hide just pressed his lips together, made an excuse to leave for a little bit, and let Kaneki calm down.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the kudos and comments and bookmarks! It'll still be a little while until Touka comes in (maybe Chapter 5?) because I wanted to focus a lot on Kaneki and Hide, since they've kept so much from each other in canon.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

The few packages that Hide was lucky to have found in the first place were now gone, and Kaneki would be needing more food soon enough. Hide wasn't about to let Kaneki starve and suffer, or do something unspeakable. So in the middle of the night, he snuck out of Kaneki’s embrace and went to Anteiku, hoping for the best.

It was public knowledge now that the place had been involved with ghouls. The CCG had been investigating the place and had the whole street blocked off for nearly a month. Earlier today they had finally pulled out of the place, but the public still tried to avoid the area.

Hide snuck inside the destroyed and burned building. He hoped the CCG hadn't confiscated the stock of food and that if he did find it, it would still be edible to Kaneki.

Trying to move quickly but quietly, he went into what used to be the back of the shop. He searched through everything, and eventually downstairs he found a large fridge that reeked of things Hide would rather not dwell on. Covering his nose with his sleeve, he put his other hand on the handle and went to open it.

Before he could mentally prepare himself for whatever he’d find inside, he heard something drop behind him. Before he could even react, someone grabbed the back of his jacket and threw him onto the floor. A foot stomped on his back and held him down. He managed to look up at his attacker. As he had expected, it was a ghoul. They were wearing a dark outfit with a hood, and they wore a Snake-like mask. Their red glowing eyes were visible through the eye holes of the mask. Maybe they had the same idea as him? A scavenger? Maybe they were friendly…?

"Please! I'm here for a friend! Who's a ghoul! I don't want any trouble! So please, don't kill or eat me?" 

Maybe he should have brought Kaneki with him, or at least told Kaneki where he was going. But how was he supposed to know that a ghoul would risk coming here so soon after the CCG left? Hide risked it because he was human and worked at the CCG. He’d still get into trouble if he was caught, but he could try to bluff and say he was trying to investigate for a promotion.

Hide closed his eyes and stopped fighting against the foot on his back, hoping his attacker might ease up a bit. Maybe even take pity on him.

Kaneki… If he died, Kaneki would have no idea. What would he do? Would he look for him? Would he dwell in sadness and guilt and starve to death? Would he loose it and give in to hunting? Would he ever find any of his ghoul friends again?

"Oh yeah? A Dove friends with a Ghoul, huh? Give me a break!"

The other foot came at him, and Hide got the wind knocked out of him as it made impact with his stomach. When he opened his eyes again, he was looking at a blue kagune. It looked really familiar. So had that voice, now that he thought about it.

"Nishio-senpai?" Hide asked, gasping once he realized what he had just said. If this ghoul was planning to pity him, he definitely wasn’t now that Hide knew who he was. He tried to prepare himself for the pain of a kagune piercing into him. Instead, a foot pushed against his shoulder, and turned him so he was now laying on his back and facing the ghoul.

"…Nagachika?"

Hide couldn't help a sigh of relief. Maybe he really could talk his way out of this. "Please don't kill me. I'm trying to help Kaneki."

The ghoul pulled his mask off, and sure enough there was Nishiki Nishio, although with both kakugan still activated. He glared and hovered over Hide, examining him.

"You... You know?" 

"Yeah..."

Nishiki took a startled step back. His kagune raised defensively, as if he was expecting Hide to pull a quinque out of nowhere and try to attack him. Hide sat up, and raised his arms to show he meant no harm. Nishiki let out a growl, and came at him once again. With a single kick, he sent Hide falling onto his back again. Nishiki left his foot on his chest, holding him down. His kagune sharpened into a point, aimed right at his neck.

"Did you call the CCG? Who did you tell? What do you know?" Nishiki demanded.

"I didn't tell anyone! I didn't turn anyone in!”

Nishiki didn’t seem to believe him.

Hide decided to try something else. “Don’t you remember what happened last time, Nishio-senpai? I don’t think Kaneki would be too happy if you killed me.” It was his last resort. He hoped that threat would be enough to make Nishiki back off, and not prove to be a stupid, fatal mistake.

“And where is Kaneki now?” Nishiki asked, giving him a look.

Hide swallowed. “Please. I just want to help Kaneki. Honest."

Nishiki growled, backing off, muttering something about "going soft." Hide went to sit up, when Nishiki turned and yelled "Don't move!"

Hide flinched and did as he said, letting his body fall back onto the floor. He hissed in pain at the contact. If he survived, he was gonna have tons of bruises tomorrow.

Sighing and fixing his hair, Nishiki let his voice go back to a more casual tone before he asked. "So. You said you're helping Kaneki?"

"He needs food, and I was hoping something would be left at Anteiku. I'm guessing you had a similar idea?"

"It's more complicated than that, but close enough. You're lucky the others were busy. They would have killed you on the spot."

"It seemed like _you_ were about to."

Nishiki ignored that comment. "Where is he?"

"My apartment."

"Stand up."

Hide did as Nishiki said, and was terrified when Nishiki grabbed him in a headlock. Nishiki’s kagune wrapped around him, constricting as a threat. The two pointed tips were aimed at his heart and throat.

"If the Doves are around, you're dead." Nishiki whispered, grabbing what looked almost like a body-bag and dragging Hide out of the building.

Once outside, and satisfied with the empty street and no quinques pointed at him, he released Hide.

"Told you." Hide couldn't help but spit out bitterly. "Can you give me some of those for Kaneki?" 

"I'll meet you at your apartment."

“Huh? Why?”

“None of your business. You want him to have food or not? It’s my only condition.”

“Fine. But when you come over, can you not mention anything about…”

A look of almost pity came on Nishiki’s face. He looked like he understood. Almost like he had been in a similar situation. “Yeah. Alright.” He put his mask back on, and then took off.

\--- 

Hide tried to turn the handle and open his door as quietly as he could. He thought he was doing fine, and he was startled when Kaneki leapt into his arms once the door opened enough.

"Hide! Where were you? Did something happen?"

"I'm fine. Nothing happened. Well, something happened, but-"

"What did? Are you in danger?"

“No, no! I said I’m fine!”

“I can smell a ghoul on you, Hide. Where did you go?”

“Uh…” 

Hide felt Kaneki suddenly tense in his arms, and he could hear Kaneki sniffing.

"So you're not dead after all!" Nishiki announced, walking up behind them.

"Nishio-senpai?" Kaneki asked.

"Whoa, what happened to your eyes? You’re in pretty rough shape."

"H-how are you...?"

"While food shopping Hide ran into me, and he's lucky I didn't kill him."

"Food shopping...? Hide! What did you do?"

"Nothing! I'm fine! Don't worry!" Hide lied.

"Nagachika. You got any coffee?"

"Not decaf."

"Make some, will ya?"

"But it's late!"

"So?"

"Don't complain if it tastes bad..."

"Nevermind. Just tell me where it is. I'll make it."

Kaneki could feel Hide pull away from him, and hear footsteps as Hide led Nishiki into his kitchen and showed him where he kept the coffee.

"So you know. Both of you know." Kaneki said, using the furniture around him as he made his way over to the couch.

Nishiki was silent as he made his coffee. Hide was for once at a loss of what to say. He just went and sat beside Kaneki again. He couldn’t believe he had allowed Nishiki to come over. The ghoul that tried to kill him. Twice. He was terrified, and he was trying so hard to hide it.

He and Nishiki had never really gotten along. After the incident, Nishiki must have assumed that Hide didn’t remember it happening. They both played dumb and avoided bringing it up. Hide had been protected because he pretended to not remember anything. But now Nishiki knew, and knew where he and Kaneki lived. He even knew Kaneki’s current condition! He wasn’t sure what Nishiki’s relationship with Kaneki was. They had seemed to get along back at Anteiku, but was that an act just like his and Nishiki’s “friendship”? They didn’t seem to get along in that alleyway back then, and that was _before_ Kaneki had nearly killed him.

Kaneki squeezed Hide’s hand, bringing him back to reality. It was almost as if Kaneki was showing Hide that, even injured and recovering, he would protect Hide if Nishiki tried anything. That was comforting.

"I've gotta say, Nagachika." Nishiki finally said once his coffee was done. He sat directly across from the two of them. He crossed one leg over the other. "You're pretty terrifying."

"That's strange coming from the ghoul that tried to kill me." Hide joked. It was what he did to deal with heavy topics. "Should I take that as a compliment?"

"I'm not sure if that makes you dangerous or not."

Hide's smile dropped. His heart began to pound against his chest. Nishiki let out a small chuckle as he took a sip of coffee, and Hide felt sick from fear. Could ghouls smell fear? It sure seemed that way right now.

"Hide's not a threat." Kaneki spoke.

"Hide, you haven't given me any reason to doubt you. You didn't turn me in back then, and you didn't tonight either. If Kaneki trusts you, I guess I will too." Hide exhaled, and hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath. "And about _that day_. I know this doesn't make up for it, but... I'm sorry. I was a different person back then, and I don't have much excuse. I was annoyed, mostly at Kaneki, and angry and hungry and I took it out on you two." Nishiki's gaze went from focused on his coffee to looking Hide in the eyes. "I don't blame you if you’re scared of me. If you don't want anything to do with me and want to avoid me from now on, I'll respect that. I won't attack or hurt you or force you to interact with me. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I give you my word." He took another sip of coffee as Hide took in his words. Hide wasn't sure yet what to think. "How much does he know?" Nishiki continued, looking at Kaneki as he moved on to a new subject.

"Just about everything. Say whatever you have to say in front of him." Kaneki said. He didn’t want to keep anything from Hide anymore.

"Alright then. Where to start..." Nishiki put his head back against the couch cushion. "We thought you were dead. Killed by The Reaper and made into a quinque."

"I almost was."

"You shouldn't have gone. You should have gone to find Touka. Or left with me. Even Tsukiyama."

"I thought I could save them."

"Well, you saved some of them."

Kaneki brightened up. "Who?!"

"Koma and Irimi. They're grateful for it."

Hide wasn't sure who they were, but he was glad that Kaneki managed to save some ghouls he cared about.

Nishiki continued. "I met up with Touka and Yomo. We're starting over again, if you want to join us. Touka's planning on opening another coffee shop. We told her to wait for the whole Anteiku thing to blow over and become old news, but she won’t listen."

Kaneki was quiet. Hide squeezed his hand, to remind Kaneki that he was still there.  _Don't leave me again,_ Hide tried to say through his touch.

Nishiki kept talking. "She didn't give up on you. We all thought you had died, but her... She wouldn't have it. She knew you survived somehow. That's part of the reason why she wants to open that shop. To get some normalcy back, but also on the off-chance that you'd come there someday."

"Is Hinami-chan there too?"

Nishiki looked down. "We don't know where she is. You were the one that saw her last."

"She was with my group. So you don’t know where Tsukiyama-san is? Banjou-san?"

"Tsukiyama's with his parents. I've heard rumors that he's in pretty rough shape, but not the details of it. I think Banjou’s around, but we don’t see him too often. Hinami’s just... gone. Touka asked them about Hinami, but she didn't get any answers. They all grew apart, and Hinami just disappeared one day."

Kaneki sighed. "I hope she's okay."

"She's a tough girl. She'll be fine."

“Everything just fell apart, didn’t it?” Kaneki asked sadly.

“That’s what happens…” Nishiki whispered. His eyes trailed up to Hide to see his reaction. Hide didn’t know most of what they were talking about, but it was obvious from their expressions and tone that everyone they cared about had disappeared or fallen into depression. Hide knew how it felt to loose Kaneki.

“So what do you think? Will you come back?” Nishiki asked Kaneki.

"Let me think about it. I'll get back to you. Hide still has your number, right?" Kaneki answered.

“I do, but I tried calling before and—” Hide was cut off.

"My number hasn't changed. I blocked you because I didn’t want anyone from Kamii to know where I was. I’ll unblock your number. I hope to see you two around then. I won't tell Touka about you, or him." Nishiki gestured with his head toward Hide, although Kaneki couldn't see it. “We both know how Touka is about that stuff.”

Kaneki smiled awkwardly, “Yeah. Thanks.”

"Thanks for the coffee, Nagachika." Nishiki rested his now empty mug on the table, and stood up and went to leave.

"Nishio-senpai."

Nishiki froze, and then turned around to face Hide.

"About what you said. I'll admit you're still pretty intimidating but... I'd like to start over. If that's okay with you."

Nishiki smiled. "I think I'd like that as well. See you around then, Nagachika." 

And with that, he left.


	4. Chapter 4

"So what do you think of his offer?" Hide asked after Nishiki left, after he and Kaneki had time to digest all that information that Nishiki gave them.

Kaneki was quiet for a few moments.

And then he spoke, with a sad smile on his face, "I want to. I really want to."

Hide nodded solemnly. He figured that would be Kaneki's answer. There was another few moments of silence between them.

"...Hey, Hide. …Do they know who I am?"

Hide didn't need to ask who Kaneki was talking about. He meant the CCG.

"Yeah... I'm sorry."

Kaneki sighed, "I was hoping to go back to Kamii one day... Not that they'd even accept me again after disappearing like that…"

“It’s okay. You can keep staying here with me.”

"Hide. I can't stay here."

"What? Why not?" Hide asked. What was wrong with here? Nishiki just brought him a stock of food. Hide didn’t mind taking care of him. He actually loved living with Kaneki!

"Why not?" Kaneki repeated, laughing bitterly. "I can't just have you taking care of me. The CCG knows I'm a ghoul, I can't go back to school or get a job! It's not fair for you to need to take care of me!"

"It's not a big deal! I have a job! I can provide for both of us. It's not like you require that much anymore!"

"So I'm just supposed to stay here and hide all day? I know I'm not social, Hide, but even _I_ need to go out sometimes!”

Hide bit his lip. He was being selfish. He hadn’t considered how bored and lonely and isolated Kaneki must have felt.

Kaneki continued. “Besides, it's way too risky for you. I honestly don't know the penalty for harboring a ghoul is, but it can't be good..."

Kaneki sighed and continued. "…I miss them all. I hate being stuck in here. I want to join them at a new cafe. Like Nishiki said, I want the normalcy of it back. Besides, there will be...  _food_  there. Maybe I can get my old group back together again and stay nearby to Touka-chan’s new shop…"

"I want to go with you."

"No. Hide, no. You can't. It's a cafe for ghouls. If you stick around, you'll just be drawing attention to yourself. I don't want any ghouls to feel threatened by you and something to happen because of it. Besides… Touka-chan. I'm not exactly sure what she'll do, but I'm afraid of what will happen if she finds out you know about us. Like I said, she originally wanted to kill you if you ever found out. It’s just that… so much has changed. You’re still human, and I'm not! It's way too dangerous! Literally everyone I know anymore is a ghoul aside from you!"

"So what are you going to do? Disappear again and go into hiding?"

"It's not like I _want_ to, Hide! I don't have any other options!"

"I'm going with you."

"What? But you have your job! You have Kamii! You have a _life_ , Hide! I can't just-"

"No. I'm coming. You can't stop me. Like I said, I can't lose you. I don't care about my life here. We'll get through this together. Maybe things will get better. Maybe we can change things. Maybe we can't. But I want us to stay together. I'm not letting you leave me again, Kaneki. That was way too painful. I was so lonely, I thought I really would die like a rabbit."

Kaneki’s expression softened. He couldn’t see the look on Hide’s face, but he could hear the hurt in his voice. He knew there was no way Hide would let him go, and honestly Kaneki didn’t want to leave him again either.

 ---

The next morning, Hide went to check Kaneki’s bandages like he always did. Every day he said that Kaneki’s injuries were looking better, and his eyes seemed to be regenerating albeit slowly, but Kaneki was still blind. Kaneki was starting to lose hope and think he would be like this forever.

With the bandages off, Kaneki fluttered his eyes open and then winced and shut them.

“Same thing, huh?” Hide asked.

“Wait.” Kaneki opened his eyes again. And then he covered up his right eye, and opened his left one. “I can see!!!”

Hide smiled, “That’s great! I’m glad!”

Kaneki frowned as he examined his friend’s face. “Hide… what is-?”

Hide’s eyes widened, and he quickly flipped up his hood and ran into the other room.

Guilt gnawed at Kaneki’s insides. Hide was scarred. His face was scarred. It had to have been from a ghoul. And chances were… it was from him.

Testing his eyesight and trying to get his mind off things just for a minute, he made his way into the bathroom. He was going to examine his eye and other injures, but he froze once he saw himself.

His kakugan was activated.

He wasn’t even hungry! He tried to focus and deactivate it, but it wouldn’t reduce itself. He wasn’t sure if it was from his injuries or from his current emotional state, but it didn’t really matter why. It was stuck as a red iris in a sea of inky black sclera. He hated it. He looked like a monster. No wonder Hide ran away from him.

After quickly examining his other injuries, he found that they were all mostly healed and just light scars now. He bandaged his still-wounded right eye and then left the bathroom. He grabbed a book from Hide’s bookshelf, one that Hide had grabbed from Kaneki’s apartment, and headed back to his usual place on the couch. He tried to read, but he found that all the text was blurry. Maybe his single eye wasn’t as healed as he thought it was. Miserably, he put the book back and just turned on the TV. A CCG report of ghouls was currently on the news, and Kaneki quickly turned the channel to another channel.

“Hey.” Hide began as he came out of his bedroom. He had his hoodie zipped all the way up, and wore a scarf covering the lower half of his face. “Are you okay?”

Kaneki turned away from him so he couldn’t see his kakugan. “You shouldn’t be asking me that.”

“Kaneki…”

“Why do you care? All I do is cause you pain no matter what I do.” His voice was starting to crack. He hated how pathetic he was. He didn’t want Hide to be taking care of him, risking so many things just for his sake. And here Kaneki was about to cry again, and Hide would surely be at his side in a moment and try to comfort him despite the monster he was.

“Kaneki…” And that’s exactly what Hide was doing. Kaneki held out a palm to tell him to stay away, and out of his peripheral he could see Hide’s shoulders sag in sadness. “Kaneki, do you remember what happened?”

“No.” Kaneki admitted.

Well, no, that wasn’t all true. Some things were coming back to him. Before fighting Arima, he tasted blood. Before that, he was traveling through the sewers to escape the CCG. Hide was there. Or was he a hallucination? No, those scars currently on Hide were proof that him being there was real. Hide had said that he knew that Kaneki was a ghoul. He knew all along. He wanted to go home.

Ugh, that’s all Hide wanted. To go home and be with Kaneki again.

But Kaneki was injured and hungry. He tried to get Hide to stay away from him, but Hide just got closer.

“Then let me tell you.” Hide said softly, sitting beside Kaneki as he inched away. “I made you do it. It’s not your fault, Kaneki.”

_“Please, eat me.”_

Kaneki tried to hold back a cry, but he couldn’t, and before he knew it he was sobbing and hiccupping. Humming comfortingly, Hide closed the gap between them and started rubbing his back.

“You didn’t want to.” Hide continued. “I know you didn’t. You would have let yourself die before you did. Which is why I forced you to do it. I couldn’t let you die, Kaneki. I wanted to help you. You suffered so much.” Hide brushed the hair out of his face, and Kaneki squeezed his eyes shut.

“Don’t look at me.” Kaneki said.

“Why not?”

“My eye. My kakugan’s activated. You shouldn’t have to look at me like that.”

“You can’t control it?”

Kaneki shook his head. “I'm sorry you have to see me like this... I wish it would just go back to normal...” Kaneki spoke in disgust, and rubbed his eye as if that would make it change back.

“It's okay, Kaneki. Stop apologizing. I know you're a ghoul. I'm glad that you seem to be healing.”

Kaneki didn't say anything, so Hide added, “I’m not scared. Please look at me.”

“No.” Kaneki whined and shook his head again. He didn’t care if he was acting childish.

“Please.” Hide’s hands moved downward to cup his face. He was so gentle, when he shouldn’t have been. _Hide_ was the fragile one. Kaneki was the one who had skin that not even a knife could pierce. And yet…

Kaneki slowly opened his eyes, and met gaze with Hide. Even with half his face covered, he could see that Hide was smiling.

“Thank you.” Hide whispered, content now that Kaneki let him see his eye.

Kaneki hiccupped again as he tried to hold back tears to no success, and Hide pulled Kaneki against his chest.

\--- 

Hide called up Nishiki and put his phone on speaker. Kaneki sat next to him, waiting for Nishiki to pick up.

“Yo.” Nishiki greeted.

“I’ll take you up on your offer, Nishio-senpai. I’d like to join you and Touka-chan.” Kaneki said.

Hide silently watched as Kaneki spoke. They hadn’t come up with any sort of plan beyond Kaneki joining with them, and Hide somehow tagging along.

“I figured you’d contact me about that eventually.” Nishiki said.

"Kaneki, the CCG knows who you are." Hide reminded him. Kaneki couldn’t just expect to go back to normal life when he was considered missing in society and when the CCG knew exactly who he was.

"Yeah, that complicates things...” Nishiki agreed. “Touka, Yomo, and I got off the hook. The Manager burned the paperwork so there's no proof we even worked at Anteiku."

"So I'm just supposed to live in hiding the rest of my life?" Kaneki asked, annoyance slipping into his voice.  

"Maybe we can get you a new identity?" Hide suggested. It was worth a shot, at least.

"I can ask around.” Nishiki offered. “A bunch of ghouls have needed to change their name, I'm sure someone would be willing to help. You should dye your hair too. The white's kind of obvious."

"He should dye his blond." Hide smiled.

"And no more eyepatches." Nishiki added.

"But...!" Kaneki stammered.

"Don't tell me you still can't control it.” You could hear the eyeroll in Nishiki’s voice. “The eyepatch will be a dead giveaway. You can't risk it."

"I know, but what if...!"

"We all have to take that risk. You're the lucky one with only one kakugan, Kaneki."

Kaneki shut his mouth. He hadn’t realized before that all other ghouls had to work hard to keep both their kakugan under control. He must have sounded pretty selfish.

“You’ll be fine, just stop worrying. I’ll text you guys the address, feel free to come by anytime. I’ll ask around for getting you a new identity and get back to you.”

“Thanks a lot, Nishio-senpai.”

\---

“I thought you had to bleach dark hair, not dye it?” Kaneki asked as Hide searched through his bathroom cabinets.

“You do. I wanted a different blond shade so I bought some dye. Ah, here they are!” Hide grabbed a few boxes and held them up to Kaneki. “What shade do you want?”

After a while of holding each of the three boxes up to his head and then repeating, Kaneki finally decided on a color. It was a more natural-looking blonde while Hide’s was more of a bright yellow blonde. Hide got to work dying Kaneki's hair for him.

“I never really got the chance to say it before, but I noticed you grew out your hair. I thought you liked it short?” Kaneki said, making conversation as Hide began.

“I do. I’m just pretty bad at cutting hair. You always used to do it for me.”

“You could have gone out to get it done.”

Hide shrugged. “I didn’t want to. I figured I’d try growing it out for a while.”

“And what do you think?”

“It’s not bad, but it’s not really me either. I think I prefer it short.”

Kaneki smiled and looked back at him. “Alright, I’ll cut it for you soon.”

Hide smiled. “I'd appreciate that.”

\--The Next Day--

Kaneki stared at himself in the mirror. His newly dyed blond hair was going to take some getting used to. He stared at his eyes in the mirror. Both were healed now finally healed. He could see out of both of them, but he was pretty sure he didn't have 20/20 vision in either of them yet. Kaneki was still nervous about going out into public without his eye patch. He looked back and forth in the mirror between his two grey eyes. He felt like any moment now his left eye would suddenly change and turn red and black. He didn't trust that his kakugan wouldn't activate.

“Ready to go?” Hide asked from their living room.

Kaneki took a deep breath before walking out of the bathroom. “Yeah, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came up with this idea before it was confirmed that Hide was scarred on his throat and couldn't speak well. I'm still pretty confused on to what extent his injuries are, but I'm slowly starting to believe that he really is scarred like Hachikawa was. (I am so not ready for that reveal, but at the same time I need to know and have him reunite with Kaneki so badly!!!) Anyway, his injuries in this fic will probably not be the same as whatever is revealed in canon.  
> And Touka will (finally) appear next chapter!
> 
> Edit: Minor changes. I fixed the honorifics and added a little more information I forgot in the last paragraph.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the inactivity! I was busy and had writer's block and then I got the flu! But I'm better now and managed to work through my block, so (finally) here's the next chapter!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Kaneki took a deep breath as he and Hide stood in front of the building that would soon be Touka’s coffee shop. The outside of the building looked old and run-down and there was currently no sign. Kaneki opened the door, and a bell jingled. It reminded him of Anteiku. He walked inside and Hide followed behind him.

Ahead of them was a counter, where people were sitting and talking. Kaneki saw Nishiki first, who gave a simple nod in greeting. Kaneki let his gaze shift across the counter. He saw Yomo next, and expected to then see Touka, but his gaze didn't make it that far. It stopped on--

"Rize-san." Kaneki breathed.

Nishiki raised an eyebrow when he saw Kaneki’s expression, and then looked between Kaneki and Rize. Touka and Yomo finished what they were saying to each other, and then turned around, feeling a sudden presence.

"I'm sorry, but we're not open for business yet. Can I help you?" Touka asked. She spoke cheerfully and politely, just like she had in Anteiku. Then her eyes widened when she saw who they were. "You...!"

Hide smiled as Touka jumped out of her seat and ran over. He was waiting for her to happily embrace Kaneki, maybe even cry. Instead, she put her hands on Hide's shoulders, looking him dead in the eye. "Have you heard anything about Kaneki?"

"Actually, uh..." Hide couldn’t hold back a chuckle as he gestured with his head toward Kaneki beside him.

She raised an eyebrow as she looked at Kaneki. The blond hair must have thrown her off. She looked into his grey eyes and then she recognized him. Hide could see it in the way her dark blue eyes lit up. Stifling a sob, she threw her arms around Kaneki and hugged him tightly. Kaneki didn't hug back. He had been staring at the purple haired girl who sat the bar trying her best to avoid his eyes. She had a miserable expression on her face.

"Kaneki! I'm so glad your back!" Touka broke off her hug. "What's wrong?" She followed his stare. "Oh, right..." She then looked at Hide and gave him a kind, thankful smile. Hide was sure it was genuine, but it also seemed to be trying to hide things. "Thank you so much for bringing him here! Although, I’m not sure how you knew I was here… Um. Can you give us a minute?" She pulled Kaneki, who still seemed a little dazed, into the back room. Nishiki followed them.

"Kaneki!" Hide cried as Kaneki disappeared behind the door. He didn't want to be separated from him. A part of him worried Touka would take him back there and he'd never get to see him again. Nishiki had mentioned that Touka wouldn’t take well to him knowing.

"I'm afraid I'm going to ask you to leave." The grey haired man said. He had a look that said he meant business. Hide didn't recognize him from Anteiku. He felt very intimidated, and he was pretty sure this man was a ghoul as well.

Hide's heart started to pound. He couldn't leave! Not without Kaneki! It felt ages that passed as Hide simply stared at the man. Hide hadn't expected to be kicked out this quickly. Could he convince the man to let him stay without Kaneki to back him up? 

"Let him stay." Nishiki said, walking back out from the backroom.

"Huh?" The man asked.

Nishiki walked beside Hide, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "Let him stay. Trust me."

"Thank you." Hide whispered.

"Kaneki wanted me to make sure you stay, and to be here just in case anyone tries anything." Nishiki whispered back.

Hide never would have expected this from the ghoul that tried to kill him, and nearly succeeded, a year ago. 

Nishiki led him to a table and sat him down. Hide’s chair was facing the door of the backroom, so that he would know exactly when Kaneki came back. Nishiki sat to the side of Hide, sipping a cup of coffee. The grey haired man drank coffee at the counter and kept glaring at them. The purple-haired girl ended up staring at Hide and licking her lips. Needless to say, the combination made Hide uncomfortable.

Nishiki eventually noticed the latter, and spoke up. "Shouldn't she be headed upstairs?"

"I'm right here, you know. Would it kill you to not talk about me in the third-person?" She asked, glaring at Nishiki.

"Rize. You should go." The older man said softly.

The young woman angrily swiped her coffee off the counter, and stomped into the backroom.

“I don’t care what she’s been through, I still hate that damn girl…” Nishiki muttered before taking a sip of his coffee.

Hide wanted to ask about her. He remembered back a year when his instincts told him that she wasn’t to be trusted. At the time, he thought she was just a player or something fairly innocent like that. Someone he knew Kaneki shouldn't associate with if he didn't want his heart broken. He never would have guessed she was a ghoul! Nishiki had given off a similar vibe. It made sense now.

Hide knew Rize was somehow involved with Kaneki’s becoming of a ghoul. She had been thought to have died, and her organs were transferred into Kaneki. That somehow changed his biology to become a ghoul. Hide didn’t know much beyond that, and previously he just wanted Kaneki to be safe and happy. Now that he had Kaneki back, he wanted to know the full story. Or to figure it out if Kaneki himself didn’t know.

And actually, did Kaneki even know she was alive?

\---

"Kaneki!" Touka hugged him again once they were in the privacy of the kitchen. "Everyone said you were dead!"

"I just barely survived." He admitted, leaving out the  _how_  until later. He needed to ease Touka into the idea, or she might kill Hide on the spot. Just like what she had wanted to do with Kimi. Kaneki then remembered Hide was alone out there with Rize and Yomo, and he glanced to Nishiki at his side.

"Nishio-senpai... Can you...?"

Nishiki understood, and left with a nod. Touka smiled, probably assuming Kaneki just wanted privacy for their conversation.

"I knew you wouldn't die so easily. So what brings you here? Do you need food? You can work here again! Just like Anteiku!"

She really got to the point, didn't she?

"Touka-chan. We need to talk about that."

Touka frowned. "What's there to talk about? :Re will work just like Anteiku did. Please join us. Or just, come in regularly like Nishiki will. I don't want to lose you again."

Almost the same words as Hide…

Kaneki hoped he wouldn't need to choose between them, just like before. No. He never needed to. He was an idiot and forced himself to choose Anteiku over Hide to keep him safe. And that choice pushed Hide away, and then later he did the same to Touka. He thought that pushing everyone away would keep them safe, but it hadn’t. Anteiku still fell. Hide got injured because of him in the sewers. And being away from them was painful and lonely.

Kaneki wasn't sure how to bring up Hide knowing their secret to Touka. Especially when she seemed this emotional. But there was another question burning in Kaneki’s mind. He supposed he could focus on that one first.

"So… Rize-san's here."

"Is that why?" Touka asked. "I guess no one can blame you. I didn't know she was alive until after the raid. Yomo came to get me and leave, and he needed to pick up Rize at his place before we ran away. She doesn't work here, and we have to keep a tight leash on her. I hate doing it, but she's wanted by Aogiri, so we can't have word getting out that she's here."

Kaneki bit his lip. He was wanted by the CCG. Would he need to do the same?

"Why'd you die your hair? When I suggested it a while ago, I thought you'd dye it back to black, or maybe a shade of blue like mine." 

"Why'd you dye yours?" Kaneki asked.

"Don't like it?" Touka asked, raising a hand up to fluff up her light blue hair.

Kaneki shook his head. "No, I do. It's nice. It’s just a lot different from what your hair was before."

Touka shrugged. "New life, new hair, I guess. I just wanted to try something different. I feel like it makes me look more mature. I will be owning a shop of my own now, after all. What about yours?"

Kaneki frowned. His was a heavy subject, but he’d need to explain eventually. He hoped Touka wouldn’t push him away in fear. "The CCG know who I am. The white hair would be too obvious, and black again would be too recognizable." The corners of his mouth moved upwards into a smirk when he added. "Hide suggested blond."

"Hide, huh?" She asked, with a tone difficult to get a read on. Whoops. Did he bring that up too soon? It just slipped out. "So. Does that mean he knows?"

"What if he does?" Kaneki asked, not caring if that answer was practically a yes.

Touka sighed. "I don't know. It's your risk, I guess. Just make sure he doesn't know about us or this place." 

"Oh. Alright. I will." He lied, deciding it was best to deal with that reveal later. He said it with a steady voice, and he touched his chin.

Touka groaned. "He already does?"

"What? How did you--?!" Kaneki shouted. He thought he had gotten pretty good at lying!

"How did he react?" 

"He's accepting, Touka. More than I could ever hope. I wouldn't have brought him here if I thought he would be the slightest risk, especially after what happened to Anteiku."

"Okay fine, I'll believe you. He can stick around. But don't feed him anymore information on us. Have him ask us himself, understood?"

Kaneki nodded. "Okay."

"So, what do you say, Kaneki? Do you want to work with us like old times?"

"When I think back, the old times weren't that great. I was trying to ignore all my problems, and things got out of control."

"The Raid wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's. Anteiku was around for a while, it was just a matter of time before it got found out and you happened to quit a little before it did."

"I know, but... I messed up many other things too. I want to start over, but I don't want to do everything exactly the same."

"Like us?" Touka asked.

"For one thing, yes." Kaneki admitted. "But also with Hide. I pushed him away as well back then, and it wasn't fair. I don't want to do that again."

"That comes at the price of being a ghoul, Kaneki. I haven't seen Yoriko since the raid. I wonder what she thinks of me. If she's put together the pieces and thinks I'm a ghoul, or if she thinks I'm just an innocent human who got involved."

"But Hide knows. It doesn't have to be like that. Look at Nishio-senpai and Kimi-san."

"Yeah, he broke up with her. He hasn't seen her since."

Kaneki gave her a look, "You said it was my risk, didn't you? I want to keep him close. I can't push him away again. I can't loose him. Please, Touka-chan."

"What exactly are you asking from me?"

"Can he work here too? He'll respect any rules you put on him, or any places he's not allowed to go, or questions he's not allowed to ask."

Touka shook her head. "No. I can't. It's too risky. And not just for me, or this place. We’ll be getting mostly ghoul customers. This is a safe haven for them. They won't take kindly to a human serving them and having access to the backroom and counter."

"I guess you're right…" 

"I'll make you a deal though. He can come in anytime he wants. And as long as you're here, or if someone wants to watch him, he can have a little bit of access to this place."

Kaneki smiled. "I'll take it! Thank you, Touka-chan!"

"So will you work here?"

"If you'll still have me." Kaneki couldn't just turn it down. He felt bad for making Hide pay for him. He had to pull his own weight too. Besides, he had a feeling Touka would warm up to Hide. And he still wanted to create peace between ghouls and humans.

"Will you also be staying upstairs?" Touka asked. She didn't have any vacant rooms, but maybe Kaneki could share with Yomo. Or maybe, with her.

"Actually, Hide and I were going to roommate together." 

"Oh, okay." She tried to cover up her disappointment and her jealousy. “Is that all, then?”

“I think so.”

With that decided and done, Kaneki and Touka walked back into the main coffee shop. Yomo was wiping off the counters, and Nishiki and Hide were sitting together at a table but not talking to each other. Hide visibly perked up when he saw them and waved.

"Do you want a coffee?" Touka asked, looking back at Kaneki as she walked up to the counter and set up the coffeemaker.

"Yeah, thank you."

"Ah, could I have one too, Touka-chan?" Hide called out from where he sat.

"We only have black coffee right now." Touka told him. She remembered Hide always liked cappuccinos.

"That's fine." Hide said, surprising Touka.

She shrugged and her and Kaneki got to work making 3 black coffees. The grey haired man finished cleaning and then headed upstairs. Once the coffee was done, Touka and Kaneki sat down with Nishiki and Hide.

Nishiki played on his phone. There was an awkward moment of silence between the rest of them.

Hide decided to break the silence. "I like your haircut, Touka-chan!!! It looks really cute!"

Touka looked down and whispered, "Thank you."

"So what's your shop going to be called?"

"...:re."

"Re? What's that mean?" Kaneki asked. "...King?"

"Huh? Where’d you get 'King' from? No! It's probably like in English! 'Re' is a prefix for 'again'!" Hide called out.

"But a prefix isn't a word.” Kaneki pointed out. “King is!"

"Why would she name a coffee shop 'King'?"

"And Anteiku or Again make sense?"

"Tell him I'm right, Touka-chan!!!"

Touka giggled at their fighting, "I think I'll keep it a secret."

Hide gave an exaggerated pout and Kaneki seemed disappointed.

“So…” Touka decided it was time to get to the important topic at hand. “You know about us.”

Hide straightened up in his seat but allowed his voice to still sound carefree. “Yup! You two are some of Kaneki’s best ghoul friends! Thanks for taking care of him!”

Kaneki looked about to blush and he tilted his head down.

“Y-you’re welcome.” Touka hadn’t expected a  _thank you_  of all things.

“Kaneki  _was_  pretty helpless for a while.” Nishiki agreed.

“Like you helped him at all! All you did was almost get him killed!” Touka snapped.

“At least Tsukiyama wasn’t my fault!”

Hide was a bit taken aback by Touka’s true snappy nature instead of the shy, soft-spoken waitress he knew from Anteiku. He didn’t mind it. He always thought her act seemed fake. He chuckled under his breath at her arguing with Nishiki. They seemed to be old friends. He also wanted to hear those stories one day now that they all knew he knew.

Touka watched as Hide took a sip of his coffee and made a face at the bitterness. He probably had forgotten it wasn’t his usual order. It was so strange to think that something that tasted so rich and good to them tasted too bitter to most humans.

“I’m sorry about Tsukiyama.” Kaneki said softly. “I thought I was being careful and yet he still tricked me so easily.”

“It’s all over. Not much use apologizing now. You’ve learned your lesson and you’re not as gullible anymore. We all survived.” Nishiki said, then muttered. "Barely."

Hide took another sip of his coffee. He didn’t make a face this time. He even seemed to savor it.

Hide glanced up and caught Touka’s eye. Had he noticed she had been watching him drink?

“Most black coffee I can’t drink too much of. It’s too bitter for me to handle. But yours is different. It’s still bitter but the great quality and taste somehow make it enjoyable for even me. Anteiku was the best coffee shop around and I’m sure :Re will be the same. Ghouls seem to put so much more care into making coffee than humans do. I suppose it makes sense why. Ah, I rambled too much but I just meant to say, your coffee’s really good and I’m sure :Re will be a success.”

Touka smiled. “I’ll try to get milk and sugar tomorrow just for you.”

“Ah, you don’t have to!” Hide exclaimed.

“It’s no problem. I can’t relate but I know a lot of humans don’t like it black. Besides, I’d need to get it eventually anyway.”

“Thanks, Touka-chan…” He seemed at a loss for words. Touka had never seen  him like that before. It felt nice and gave her some pride that she had managed to. Had that simple offer really meant that much to him? It was just coffee. Humans could eat and drink so many different things. Why should coffee be so special to him?

Touka glanced at the clock on the wall.

“It’s getting late. I should get back to work setting up this shop.” She stood up. “Um, Kaneki, can you start work tomorrow and help out?”

“Yeah, that’s fine with me. We should head out too. Goodbye, Touka-chan!”

“Bye-bye, Touka-chan!”

\---

 _You're beautiful_.

The words of Nishiki's human girlfriend still echoed in her mind, almost a year later. It was weird to say that such kind words haunted her. 

Touka's kagune wasn't beautiful, and neither was she. She was simply a ghoul blessed with society's standards of beauty. People often flirted with her. She never flirted back. Irimi used to always compliment her and say she was jealous, but Touka wanted to be just average. Not stand out. Not bring attention to herself.

If only the humans knew what she really was. A ghoul. A murderer. How much blood was on her hands? What if they saw her true personality that appeared when she didn't bite her tongue? Yoriko and the bullies at school had only ever seen a small glimpse of it. What would they think of Touka then?

Why couldn't she have been human? Had an easy, ignorant life? Been able to enjoy cake and other sweets?

She hadn't been okay with Kimi knowing, but with Kaneki and Nishiki begging her, she couldn’t kill the woman. Touka never forgot her moment of weakness. Never forgot that someone out there knew she was a ghoul. It helped a little that she never saw the woman again, aside the occasional glances from times Kimi walked Nishiki to or from Anteiku.

But Hide…

Hide was loud and talkative. He would be here often. Hide would be so different. He knew her more closely than Kimi had.

Touka wouldn’t kill him. Wouldn’t hurt him or even threaten him. Just as Kimi, Touka knew she would be too weak to do it. As uncomfortable as it was for her, she would need to trust Kaneki and Hide and hope for the best.

 


	6. Chapter 6

"So how did it go?" Hide asked once they were out of :Re and headed back to their shared apartment. 

“It went better than I thought it'd go.” Kaneki replied. “Touka-chan and I didn't really leave off on the best of terms.”

"What happened?" Hide asked. He knew Kaneki and Touka had become close friends since he became a ghoul and months ago Hide saw the budding romance between the two of them. Touka had seemed to miss Kaneki as much as he did when she talked to him in Kamii. How bad could it have gone?

“It's a long story... You're not the only person I ditched.” Kaneki grimaced. “Sorry about that, by the way...”

“I forgive you. And I’m sure she does too. I understand why you left. Just, please don't do it again.”

Kaneki pressed his lips together uncertainly and nodded. Hide wished Kaneki would seem a bit more confident as he answered, but Hide supposed it was an improvement to get any sort of agreement.

Kaneki went on and explained what the situation would be like from now on between them and Touka. Kaneki would work at :Re and Hide would only be allowed limited access under special circumstances. Hide was okay with this, and he and Kaneki talked about Hide keeping his part-time job at the CCG. They argued a little over the specifics as they walked, which was a bit difficult to do without mentioning anything about Kaneki and Touka being ghouls in public. Kaneki had only agreed on the condition that Hide would promise to keep a low-profile and not work himself up to becoming any sort of Investigator. Hide would need to stick to being an errand boy or secretary or something to that effect.

“And that won’t be hard to do?” Kaneki asked. “They won’t try to pressure you to climb the ranks and officially join?”

That was Kaneki’s main worry. That the CCG would try to pressure and convince him to become an investigator. He didn’t want Hide to get involved. Kaneki was surprised he wasn’t yet paranoid over Hide being only an errand boy.

“They might, but it _is_ my decision. I can handle it. They can’t force me to be an investigator.”

“But still. It’s not suspicious to them that you don’t have any interest in being an investigator but still willing to help them?”

“You think too much. Being an investigator’s dangerous. I’ve told them before I wanted to help out to the best of my ability without putting my life at risk.”

But his life still had ended up at risk, hadn’t it?

“Alright. Be careful.”

“Of course!”

They were back at their apartment now. Hide closed the door behind Kaneki and him and locked it.

"So. That girl. Was it really her? That girl you dated?"

"Yeah. It's her. I didn't think she would be at :Re."

"I thought she was dead." Hide admitted. She had been reported to have died in that incident a year ago. Hide knew ghouls were hard to kill, but it still didn’t add up. She was dead upon arrival to the hospital.

"Oh. I knew she was alive; I'd just forgotten about her." Kaneki said with a shrug.

"Huh? When did you find out?" Hide asked. Just how out of the loop was he?

"It was during those 6 months I went missing."

"What were you even doing then? You never told me."

Kaneki didn't want to tell him. He wanted to just forget everything that had happened back then. He did a lot of things he regretted now. But not telling him wasn't fair to Hide.

"It’s a long story that I don’t really feel like explaining right now. I guess the short version is that I found out my doctor did this to me on purpose and had gone missing a few months later. I was trying to hunt him down and I found out Rize-san was actually alive. Kanou had her. Yomo-san ended up coming in and taking her away."

“So she’s the reason you’re a ghoul?” Hide asked. That was his theory and he wanted to know if he was right. It had been long enough. Hide wanted answers to his hundreds of questions.

Kaneki nodded. “Our date was never a real date. She tried to eat me and she nearly killed me before those steel beams fell. I was dying and Kanou took her organs and her kakuhou and put them into me to ‘save my life’.” Kaneki used air-quotes and rolled his eyes. He was just an experiment to Kanou. A prototype, he said. “Apparently that can transform a human into a ghoul.” It still felt uncomfortable each time he mentioned aloud him being a ghoul to Hide, but he was slowly getting used to it.

“I wonder if taking them out would turn you back…”

“I’m not too eager to have anyone else mess with my insides again…”

“Yeah, I guess not. Sorry. But it’s still something to consider. …Would you want to turn back if you got the chance?”

“…”

Hide thought Kaneki wasn’t going to answer. He was about to drop the subject and move on when Kaneki finally spoke.

“I… don’t know... I’d love to be human again, and I want to say yes... But… I don’t think it would be wise to go back to being human if I had the choice. This world is dangerous. I wouldn’t be able to protect myself or you or Touka-chan if I was human.”

“You know you don’t need to protect us, right? We’re your friends but we’re not your responsibility. If something did ever happen to us, it wouldn’t be your fault.”

“Yes it would be.” Kaneki mumbled.

“Kaneki, this was my choice.” Hide pointed to his face, despite being hidden behind his scarf. “My choice to find you. My choice to get involved with ghouls in the first place. Don’t put all the blame on yourself.”

“Can we please stop talking about this?” Kaneki turned away.

Hide exhaled through his nose. “Fine.” Why did he always let Kaneki off the hook so easy? He knew why. He just didn’t want to admit it. He was afraid of pushing Kaneki too far one day and Kaneki leaving. Again. Hide changed the subject back to Rize. "Are you going to be okay working at :Re with Rize there?"

Kaneki nodded. "I was just overwhelmed with everything today. But I don't hold a grudge against her or anything."

"She tricked you and tried to eat you. How do you not hate her?" Hide cocked an eyebrow.

Kaneki shrugged. "I don’t really know. I know I probably should. I guess it’s because…” Kaneki seemed to hesitate. “She sort of helped me out in difficult times.”

Hide gave him a look. “So you met her before now? After you became a ghoul?”

“No. I meant…” Kaneki bit his lip and touched his chin. “…that remembering her and her fighting and her kagune helped me out?”

Hide knew from his gesture that he was lying, but Hide couldn’t make out what part of it was a lie. It seemed like an honest answer. But that chin touch had to mean something.

“Besides, she's not a threat to me anymore. And she seemed to be in pretty bad shape when Yomo-san saved her. Kanou probably had her captured since my surgery."

"If you ask me, she doesn't deserve your pity." Hide muttered. She was the reason all this happened to Kaneki. Kaneki was a sweet guy. Why did she choose to target him?

Kaneki continued explaining his thoughts. "I tried to talk to her before, but Yomo-san was keeping her starving for her protection. She wasn't lucid enough to recognize me or say anything coherent. I still want to talk to her…"

"Well, now's your chance, I guess." Hide looked at the clock. “Ugh. Time for me to head to work.”

“Or you could quit.” Kaneki suggested with a little smirk.

“Ha! No way! I’ll see you this afternoon!”

\---

He hadn't seen them in so long. Kaneki thought he was cured. He should have known better.

It was late afternoon. Hide had been back home for a little while now. Kaneki was lying in bed rereading The Black Goat’s Egg. Hide was in the kitchen making lunch for himself.

Kaneki kept thinking about the conversation with Hide earlier.

They were at risk. All of them. Him, Touka, Hide, and everyone else who got close to them.

The CCG knew his human identity and probably wanted him dead. They had been after The Rabbit for a while now. Probably had been since before she killed those investigators. If the CCG found out Hide was acting as a mole and helping ghouls then Hide would be punished. Aogiri had captured and tortured Kaneki in the past. What if they went after someone else next time? They managed to track down and capture his old nurse, after all. They weren’t afraid to kidnap ghouls _or_ humans.

And then the next thing Kaneki knew, Rize was there.

“Hide’ll be the first to die.” Rize stated.

“Why do you say that?” Kaneki asked. He closed his book and put it in his lap.

Rize rolled her eyes. “He’s human. Touka and everyone else might make it, but not him.”

Kaneki wanted to argue, but it was true. Hide would have no chance against ghouls. Kaneki had to look out and protect him.

Rize looked at the book in his hands. “Sen Takatsuki, huh? I never got to finish reading it because of you.”

“Rize-san, leave me alone.” Kaneki said calmly. _She better not come any closer._

"You know better than anyone. The ghoul world is dangerous. It's just a matter of time."

That wasn’t Rize’s voice.

Yamori was now in the room as well.

“Y-Yamori…!” 

He had hallucinations of them before, but it had only ever been during battle or intense moments. So why were they here now? Was Kaneki getting worse? It felt much more uncomfortable them being in his home. In an enclosed room. He knew they weren’t real, but they seemed so real. He’s had them touch him before and he could actually feel them do it. It was disorientating and terrifying.

"You hurt Hide already. You'll do it again." Rize added as she examined her nails.

“It’ll be different now. We won’t let things get that bad.” Kaneki forced himself to say. He needed to hear himself say it out loud. He didn’t know if he believed things would work out fine, but Hide seemed to. "All the danger is over. No one's going to get hurt anymore."

“Oh, you hopeful child.” Rize said in a teasing voice. She sat rather close beside him and reached out to touch him. Her gesture seemed almost motherly.

Kaneki sucked in a breath and backed up to get away from her. He didn’t realize he was at the edge of the bed, and he felt his body fall. He landed on the floor with a thud and his book fell out of his grip and landed beside him. His body was shaking. Yamori was blocking the closed door. Kaneki wanted to run away, but he didn't want to have to run past them.

"Tragedy always happens to you and those you care about because of your lack of ability. None of you are strong enough." Yamori walked up to Kaneki and sat above him on the edge of the bed.

"No! No, it'll be different this time!" Kaneki repeated, voice rising in volume.

"Kaneki?" Hide asked, slowly opening the door and walking in. "Are you okay?"

Neither Rize or Yamori disappeared.  They stared at him. Rize seemed to be enjoying herself and Yamori looked like he was judging him. They both licked their lips. Kaneki swallowed nervously.

“They both look delicious.” Rize said.

“You can have the human. I want Kaneki.” Yamori told her.

“I, I’m fine. Can you please l-leave?” Kaneki asked Hide, forcing his eyes away from the two ghouls and started pretending to read his book. Hopefully Hide would ignore the fact that he was on the floor.

“Aww, how mean you are to your precious best friend!” Rize giggled. She jumped on the bed so she was lying on her stomach and looking down at Kaneki. She kicked her feet playfully behind her like a child. 

“Kaneki?” Hide came closer, bending down directly in front of Kaneki.

“I’m f-fine. Go ahead and e-eat your lunch.” Kaneki said, hating how his voice shook. _Please just leave. You can’t help me with this._

"Calm down, Kaneki. Breathe.” Hide seemed determined to stay and help no matter what Kaneki said. “Can you try counting?"

_Counting…?_

**_What’s 1,000 – 7?_ **

Yamori started laughing behind Hide.

“Shouldn’t have said that.” Rize laughed along with Yamori.

“993.”

Hide blinked. “I meant, like, count to 10 or something.”

Kaneki didn’t hear him.

“986. 978—NO, I MEAN 979!”

“Okay, let’s try something different!” Hide quickly said. “Um, what can you touch? Just name a few things.”

“Carpet.” Kaneki said, seeming dazed. Hide saw Kaneki’s fingers move to grip the carpet below them. His eyes kept flickering to glance at Rize and Yamori. “Y-You.” Kaneki reached out and Hide allowed Kaneki to grab his arm with a shaking hand. This time Kaneki looked at Hide and kept his eyes on him.

“Good. Keep going.”

Kaneki took his hand off the carpet and raised it to grab a hold of the bed sheets on his side. “The bed.” Kaneki put a palm on his book. “The Black Goat’s Egg.”

“Good. Now Kaneki, where are you?”

“I’m…” Kaneki took a breath, “in your apartment.”

“Yes. Good. Are you feeling better now?”

Kaneki looked around the room. Rize and Yamori were gone. He nodded, but his expression still looked a bit panicked and distressed.

“What happened?” Hide asked.

“I…” Kaneki hesitated. “It was…” He touched his chin. “Just anxiety.”

“That’s what I thought.” Hide hid his lie behind a smile. Anxiety might be part of the reason, but Hide knew it wasn’t the main reason for Kaneki’s panic attack. “I’m glad you calmed down. Ghouls can’t have tea, can they?”

Kaneki shook his head.

“Alright. How about some nice decaf coffee then? You can show me how to make it properly.”

\---

After being with Hide nonstop 24/7 for over a week, it was a pretty quiet and lonely walk to :Re the next day. Kaneki couldn’t believe he used to live like that a year ago. When he used to hide that he was a ghoul from Hide and hoping that Hide would stay away from Anteiku and ghouls and be safe. Everything changed so much.

Kaneki knocked on :Re’s locked door. Yomo saw him from inside and headed over to let him in.

“Sorry I didn’t get the chance to talk to you yesterday. It’s nice to see you again, Ken.” Yomo gave a polite head bow in greeting.

“I’m glad you’re safe, Yomo-san. Thank you for protecting Touka-chan and keeping her away from the Raid.”

“I’m glad you two are safe.” Yomo silently turned and headed back to where Touka was. Kaneki followed him. He wasn’t sure what kinds of things they were going to have him work on. He had only ever worked at Anteiku. He wasn’t sure how beginning a business worked.

“Great! Everyone’s here!” Touka said enthusiastically once they walked up.

“Good morning, Touka-chan.” Kaneki greeted. “Where’s Nishio-senpai?”

“Nishiki’s not planning on working here and he doesn’t want to help us out either. So I’m glad you decided to work with us. It would be lonely and a lot of work for just me and Yomo. He’ll be working the shop and counter instead of only working behind-the-scenes.”

“So it’ll just be the three of us?” Kaneki asked.

Touka nodded. “A little short on staff but I think we’ll manage. Alright, so let’s get started. Kaneki, since today’s your first day I’ll go easy on you. Can you sort and organize and stock all the coffee and ingredients? We use the same system as Anteiku did so it should be easy.”

“Got it!”

Touka turned to Yomo next. “Rize’s upstairs?”

“She’s sleeping in.”

“Good. I’m going to need you to drive me to the bank.” Touka turned back to Kaneki. “We’ll be gone for a bit so just stock the coffee and I’ll give you another job once we get back.”

“Understood. See you later.” Kaneki headed back into the kitchen.

“I can’t wait until I can drive on my own.” He heard Touka say as she and Yomo left. “You’ve gotta start teaching me!”

Once in the kitchen, Kaneki easily found several packaged boxes filled with either coffee or sugar. Kaneki sliced the boxes open and got to work. Stocking coffee into cabinets got boring real fast, and Kaneki’s mind began to wander as he worked. 

Working at :Re with just Touka and Yomo would be a lot of work. Anteiku had a total of 5 or 6 workers when he had joined. They alternated shifts and took occasional days off. :Re might demand more of his time than Anteiku had.

Koma and Irimi… Nishiki mentioned that they had made it out of the raid alive, but he hadn’t seen them yet and no one mentioned them since he got here. When was the last time anyone had contact with them? How were they? Did they even still live in this ward? In Tokyo? Would Kaneki ever see them again? Working at a coffee shop wouldn’t be the same without them. Especially without Koma’s tales. He never got to find out if they were true, made up, or Koma taking creative liberties.

Kaneki wondered if :Re would eventually get any part-time ghoul workers. Like what Yoshimura had offered him and Nishiki in exchange for a food source. Kaneki had heard from Hinami that Anteiku hired two ghouls after he left to form his group. Would :Re also take in and shelter any ghouls in need like what Yoshimura did for Hinami and Ryoko?

Kaneki also realized Touka never even mentioned if he would be working part-time or full-time. Kaneki thought about it. Now that he was no longer going to Kamii and didn’t have much else to do, he might want to take on more hours.

Hide’s job was still part-time, right? Would Kaneki want to work more hours than Hide did? Kaneki wondered what Hide was doing right now. Being an errand boy seemed awful boring and tiring. How much information was he even able to acquire? Weren’t ghoul cases supposed to be classified? He heard rumors that even the police weren’t allowed to see the cases. He hoped Hide wasn’t getting into trouble for his sake.

_Stop thinking about that, Kaneki. Remember what happened yesterday? Everything will be fine._

Kaneki paused. With Touka and Yomo gone and no customers, the shop was so quiet. Kaneki didn’t like it. The silence was starting to make his ears ring. He got back to work, thankful for the simple clinking of the boxes against the cabinet to give some sort of noise to the otherwise dead-silent room.

“You’re doing it wrong.”

Kaneki jumped, and the coffee containers he was currently holding fell to the ground with a louder sound than he was expecting. He turned to see Rize staring at him.

_Not again. Just ignore her. Maybe she’ll go away._

Kaneki bent down and picked up the coffee he dropped. Good thing nothing spilled out. He went back to stocking the cabinets.

“Did you hear me? I said you’re doing that wrong.”

_Don’t talk to her. Talking to her always makes it worse._

He could hear that she started walking.

_Please don’t come near me. Stay away._

“Are you an idiot? You can’t even stock coffee right.”

“I’M DOING IT RIGHT!” Kaneki snapped. “Touka-chan said it’s just like Anteiku stocked everything and that’s how I’m doing it. Last time I checked, _you didn’t work at Anteiku_!”

_She’s in your head, Kaneki. That wouldn’t matter._

_…Why am I even talking to her? Dang it, Rize. Why does she always get to me?_

“Fine. Get in trouble with Touka for all I care. I’ll enjoy her yelling at you.”

Rize pulled up a stool and sat along one of the kitchen counters. She pulled out The Black Goat’s Egg and started reading it. Despite having his back turned to her, he could feel that she occasionally glanced up to watch him before going back to reading. At least Yamori wasn’t here. …Yet. It was just a matter of time.

Kaneki was almost done stocking when he heard the jingle of :Re’s bell. Touka and Yomo must be back. A moment later the kitchen door swung open.

“Kaneki! I’m back!” Touka announced as she entered.

“Welcome back, Touka-chan!” Kaneki greeted.

“Ah, you’re awake now, Rize.”

Kaneki froze. He felt like his world fell apart. Rize was real. She wasn’t a hallucination. He couldn’t even tell the difference between his hallucinations and reality.

“Yes, I am.” Rize replied, sounding annoyed.

“You can sit out there now that Yomo and I are back, if you want.”

Rize nodded, bookmarked her page and closed it and got up and left.

“…Hey, Kaneki, are you okay?”

“…”

_Just act natural. No one will know you hallucinate. Rize doesn’t know you didn’t think she was real. No one knows how bad it is. You’re fine._

“I’m fine, Touka-chan! Just got distracted for a second!” Kaneki smiled and touched his chin.

Touka frowned but didn’t say anything. Her gaze wandered to the cabinet. “Oh, um. Kaneki… That’s not… Um… That’s not how Anteiku…” She trailed off.

Kaneki slowly brought his hand back down to his side. He knew what she was trying to say. “This isn’t how Anteiku stocked the coffee, is it?”

“Yeah…”

When he began the task he couldn’t remember the exact way to do it, but at that point Yomo and Touka had left and he couldn’t ask them. He worked in Anteiku almost 7 months ago. He had forgotten exactly how they organized their coffee and toppings. He just guessed and started running on instinct and he assumed that was the correct way to do it. Apparently it wasn’t. And Rize had tried to warn him. And Kaneki thought it was all in his head.

“I-It’s okay!” Touka said quickly. “You haven’t worked in a coffee shop in a while! I should have showed you how I wanted everything! It’s my fault! Here, I’ll show you and help you!”

She wasn’t going to yell at him…? It wasn’t her fault. It was his. He wanted to take the blame and tell her to not waste her time fixing his mistake, but he was too ashamed of his stupid mistake to speak and he couldn’t fix it unless she showed him what to do. He had wasted so much of his time and now he was wasting Touka’s…

“This really is just like Anteiku…” Touka said softly as she pulled the coffee out from the cabinets to start over. “Me showing you how to do everything. You were so helpless back then.”

“Looks like I still am…” He meant it as a joke, but it came out sounding hopeless.

“It’s okay.” Her voice was soft and kind. “You’ll adjust back soon enough. I have faith in you.”

Kaneki looked at her. She had faith that he could do it? That… That really meant a lot.

“Thank you.” Kaneki whispered. Thank you wasn’t enough to tell her how much it meant. “And thank you for helping me back then too. I was such a jerk to you.”

“No you weren’t.” Touka giggled. “You were kind of a pushover but you’ve always been a really sweet guy.”

Kaneki shook his head. He was surprised she didn’t remember. “I called you a monster.”

“Oh. That…” Was all Touka responded with.

“I hope this goes without saying but I don’t believe that anymore. I was so ignorant back then and I was so mean to you. I was confused and scared but I never should have taken it out on you.”

“I’m just as guilty as you were. I wasn’t exactly nice to you back then either.”

“At least yours was justified. You could have just let me suffer and figure out how the ghoul world works the hard way. But you helped me and taught me.”

“Don’t give me credit for that. I didn’t want to, remember? Yoshimura-san forced me to.”

“You still helped me. Saved my life countless times. Saved Hide for me too.”

“And you saved mine, don’t forget that.” Touka looked at him and smiled and Kaneki’s heart fluttered. She was absolutely beautiful. “Let’s just stick together and help each other out, alright?”

Kaneki nodded.

“I should get back out there to help Yomo. Think you can finish on your own?”

“Yeah, I remember how to now. Thanks.”


	7. Chapter 7

Kaneki asked Hide if he wanted to walk him to :Re this morning. Kaneki hoped Hide would, since last time his walk was boring and lonely, but he wouldn't force Hide to. Kaneki wasn’t sure how strict his job was. But Hide said he would be happy to walk with him and they headed off.

Once they got to :Re, Hide said good morning to Yomo and Touka and then headed out to leave for the CCG office.

"Don't work him too hard, Touka-chan!" Hide teased. He waved at them and turned around.

Then the bell on the door jingled.

"Sorry we're a little late!" A black haired woman called out with a smile as she entered. A man was at her side.

Kaneki gasped. "Irimi-san! Koma-san!" He seemed so genuinely happy. It warmed Hide’s heart.

"It's great to see you again, Kaneki-kun!" Irimi smiled. She walked up to Kaneki and hugged him. Kaneki smiled into her embrace and squeezed her back. Her hug was sweet and motherly.

Koma walked over as well and ruffled Kaneki's hair while he was in Irimi’s embrace, messing up his hair a little.

"We're glad you're safe." Koma said. “We were worried when Touka said you weren’t with her.”

"I'm glad you two made it out alive. I saw...” Kaneki’s tone turned grim. “…I saw your followers. There were so many killed. All by The Reaper. I thought you had been too..."

"They held him off while we got away." Irimi explained. “It's all thanks to you.”

"We would have died if you hadn't saved us." Koma added.

"How did you know I was here?" Kaneki asked.

"I contacted them after you showed up." Touka explained, walking up. She turned to Koma and Irimi. "It's been a while."

"You two won't be working at :Re?" Kaneki asked. He had hoped they had come to stay for a while.

Koma shook his head. "We thought we'd try something different. We'll stop by to visit, though, don't worry."

During the exchange, Hide just took a seat and watched with a smile. They all were so close and cared so much for one another. They were almost like a family. It'd be worth it if he was late to his job.

"Ah!" Kaneki suddenly said. "This is my friend Hide!" He turned and gestured to him.

Hide blinked as the two ghouls looked at him.

"He's..." Koma trailed off.

_He’s human_ , Hide guessed he was going to say.

"He knows." Kaneki said with a smile.

The two ghouls exchanged a look with each other. Then Koma waved at Hide.

"Nice to meet you! You look kinda familiar. Did you come in to Anteiku often?"

"I used to, yeah. I did less after Kaneki became a ghoul. I didn't want to intrude on anything." Hide admitted.

"Oh, you shouldn't have! Anteiku was made to be for both humans and ghouls!" Irimi said.

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind from now on.”

“Thank you for accepting us. I’m sure not many humans would.”

Hide opened his mouth, to defend ghouls and say that he had hope for peace, but Kaneki cut him off.

“Um, Hide…? Shouldn’t you be headed to…?”

“Ah, you’re right!!! Sorry, I gotta go! Bye! Nice to meet you two! Bye Kaneki and Touka-chan!” Hide yelled as he ran out of :Re and down the street.

\---

“Yomo-san is going to go collect food. He’d like someone to help him, but I want to finish up some things around here. Would you mind helping him? If you’re not comfortable with it, it’s okay.”

Touka knew Kaneki was sensitive about stuff like that. As a natural-born full ghoul, it was hard for her to gauge how he would feel. She wished she could have given him a little more notice to prepare. It was towards the end of their shift. She had heard that Kaneki seemed pretty traumatized the first and only time he went on a food-collecting trip with Yomo.

“No, I can do it.” Kaneki replied.

“Alright. He’s in the back getting ready.”

Kaneki nodded and opened the door to the backroom. Touka headed toward the stairs.

“Oh, and Kaneki?”

“Yeah?”

"I'll make sure Rize stays away from you. You don't need to worry about having to talk to her or see her when you’re here."

Before Kaneki could say anything, Touka disappeared up the stairs. Touka sounded concerned… Why did she think he didn’t want to see Rize? Kaneki internally shrugged and went to go meet up with Yomo.

Touka went into Rize’s room, bringing the recovering woman food and a fresh coffee. Touka felt bad for Rize, but she also felt bad for Kaneki. The poor guy must be traumatized by Rize. She tricked him and tried to eat him and was the reason he ended up in the ghoul world in the first place.

When Yomo was taking care of Rize yesterday, Rize had told him that Kaneki yelled at her and seemed to hate her. Yomo then told Touka, and Touka made note of it and decided that Kaneki shouldn't need to interact with her.

If everything went well, Yomo could make Rize understand how important it was that no one found out about her. They could help her get a new identity and she could live on her own again, so long as she continued to get food from :Re. Her morals were completely different from theirs, though, and she avoided a lot of questions about them or her upbringing. Maybe :Re could change her, just as Anteiku changed all of them.

Rize was stubborn and would only talk to Yomo. She always seemed moody or depressed around Touka and rarely talked to her unless she had to. She only spoke to Nishiki if they got into an argument or insulted each other. It would be a lot of work to get Rize to like them and open up to them.

Rize took the plate and mug without a word. Touka tried to come up with something to say, but she knew Rize wouldn’t want to talk to her anyway. Touka just shut her mouth and left and went back to what she wanted to work on today.

\---

To Touka’s surprise, Hide showed up when Kaneki’s shift was over.

"Kaneki's not here. He's gathering—" She stopped herself. "He's with Yomo."

"I know. He told me. I actually wanted to talk to you." Hide replied. He took a seat at the counter in front of her.

"Me?" Touka asked. It was subtle, but Hide could see that she was a little nervous now.

"I'm... worried about Kaneki."

"He seems fine to me." Touka avoided. She turned around and started setting up things behind the counter. Hide felt like she was only trying to look busy to avoid talking to him.

Hide gave her a look, even though she wasn’t looking at him. He didn’t like that answer she gave him. "Really?"

Touka shrugged. "I mean. Fine as he can be, considering everything that's happened to him."

"And what  _has_  happened?" Hide asked. He wanted to know. He knew Kaneki wouldn’t tell him.

"You tell me. I wasn't there at the Raid." Touka picked up a wet coffee mug and started drying it off with a cloth.

"After Aogiri captured him... You saw him before he left, didn't you?" Hide asked. He knew Kaneki’s issues had to have started before the Anteiku Raid. He decided to start when Kaneki had first disappeared. Touka had to know.

Touka nodded. "Briefly, yeah."

"What happened to him there?"

Touka slowly put down the mug she had been wiping. She gave him a grave look. "You... don't know?"

Hide shook his head. "He never told me."

"I... was part of the rescue.” Touka began. “Anteiku joined together to break him out. Nishiki and I were on our way to find him, when we were attacked. Kaneki came to our rescue."

"He broke out himself?" Hide asked incredulously. Hadn’t Kaneki been captured? Kidnapped? Was Hide wrong back then? Was that not what happened?

"After we regrouped,” Touka continued, “Kaneki said he had things to do. I tried to join him, but he wouldn't let me. That's... pretty much it. I assumed he at least said goodbye to you as well.” Touka gave a glare to the empty shop. “I should have known better..."

"That's it? You don't know what Aogiri did to him?"

Touka shook her head. "Sorry. He never talked about it."

"And you never asked." Hide said, more of a statement than a question.

"I didn't have any time to! He disappeared and never told me where he was. I was just about as in the dark about him as you were, Nagachika!"

"Does anyone know?" Hide asked. There had to be someone, right?

"You know Kaneki. I seriously doubt he's opened up to anyone."

Hide sighed. This wouldn’t be as easy as he thought it would be. He knew it wasn't his place to say anything, but he trusted Touka and he knew Kaneki had a lot of faith in her too. Hide knew Touka wouldn’t judge Kaneki, just as he didn’t either. Hide wanted to help Kaneki and he needed help in figuring out how.

"He... sometimes has breakdowns." Hide whispered.

"…What do you mean?" Touka whispered back. She seemed shaken.

"Not like crying fits, Touka-chan. Actual breakdowns. Hallucinations. Flashbacks. He has PTSD or some other mental illness. They did something serious to him, I know it."

"I didn't know..."

"I was hoping you or someone else knew about it. Anything about it."

"I don't. I knew Kaneki had changed... I knew bad things must have happened to him… But..." Touka trailed off and squeezed her eyes shut. She seemed like she was blaming herself.

"When we were kids...” Hide leaned back in his seat and looked off to the side, thinking back to the story he was about to tell. “Man, we musta been like... 8 or something. Kaneki and I were playing one day. I convinced him to play in the mud, and we were a mess. We went back inside and changed our shirts. And when he took his shirt off beside me... He had bruises. I tried not to, but I stared. I couldn't figure out what they were from. We hadn't been playing roughly, but I thought I had hurt him. Kaneki noticed I was staring, and he quickly threw a clean shirt on to cover them. I could tell he was uncomfortable, so I never brought it up. But I never forgot it. As I grew up, I learned some things. My parents were certainly not the best parents in the world, but I learned how horrible some other parents could be. And I realized what Kaneki's bruises had most likely been from."

"You mean... Kaneki was..." Touka trailed off. She didn't want to say it.

"Abused by his mom?" Hide finished. "I mean, I can't know for sure... But I'm pretty certain that's what it was."

Touka looked horrified. "How could she do that to him? Kaneki's such a sweet guy. Was he a bad kid?"

Hide shook his head. "He was just like he was now."

"How could she do that to him?" Touka yelled. 

Hide shrugged. "It's just the way some people are."

"I can't even imagine..." Touka whispered. "My dad was always so kind and sweet to us. Even when we were in trouble. He'd never hurt us. He'd never  _think_  about hurting us." And then a horrified look of realization came onto Touka's face. "Oh my God."

"What?" Hide asked.

"I... I can't believe I…!"

"What? Do you remember something he said? What Aogiri did to him?" Hide leaned on the counter as he spoke, getting closer to Touka so he would be able to hear whatever she was about to say.

"No, not that...! I...! I've hit him...!"

"...Huh?" Hide straightened up again. He wasn't expecting her to say that.

"I've hit him. I've gotten mad at him and hit him. Back at that bridge... I beat the shit out of him. He stopped fighting back, but I was too angry to notice! Why is he even around me after what I did? I'm awful..."

"Touka-chan..."

"I knew it wasn't right. But he never fought back or told me to stop and I never questioned why. It was the only way I knew how to deal with my feelings. Now I know why he acted like that. I shouldn't be his friend. His manager." She laughed bitterly. "And here I thought I could be his girlfriend."

"Touka-chan... Do you know what you did was wrong?"

Touka nodded.

"And I'm guessing you won't do it again?"

She nodded again.

"Then... just talk to him. Apologize. Tell him it was wrong, and why it was. You care a lot about him, and he cares a lot about you. You've realized your mistakes and grown. Just make sure he knows that being hit isn't a normal thing and that he shouldn't expect it from anyone. Let him decide if he wants to continue being your friend."

"You barely even know me." Touka said, looking Hide in the eyes. She was challenging his sincerity. "Why do you have so much faith in me? You should know most of what you saw of me in Anteiku was just an act. I’m not nearly as nice as you think I am."

"I've seen how much you care for Kaneki. And how much this means to you right now. I know you enough, Touka-chan."

"You love him too, don't you?"

Hide could feel his face heating up. "H-huh?"

Touka smiled. "It's okay. I can see why. He cares about you so much too. He constantly talks about you. I wouldn't be surprised if he likes you too."

"W-what? He does? Really?" Hide scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. _Well that's kind of embarrassing..._

"Why didn't you ever tell him?"

"He liked _you_. So much. I could tell. And I knew you felt the same. I didn't want to ruin that for you two."

“I think you’d make a great boyfriend for him too.” _Probably better than I would_ , Touka added in her head.

“So, friendly competition then?” Hide asked. He winked at her.

Touka giggled. “And no hard feelings for who he doesn’t pick.”

Hide nodded, and they shook hands on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Spoiler-Not-Spoiler: Kaneki chooses them both.)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the inactivity! But here's a longer chapter than usual to hopefully make up for it!

The next morning Hide once again walked Kaneki to :Re. Kaneki had a key to the shop now, so he unlocked the door and stepped inside, with Hide following behind him. Only Yomo was currently in the shop, working behind the counter.

"Is Rize here?" Kaneki asked.

"She's upstairs." Yomo answered.

"Can I talk to her?"

Yomo simply nodded in response.

“Thanks.” Kaneki turned to Hide. “See you later.” And then he began to head upstairs.

"Ken?" Yomo called up after him.

"Yeah?"

"Just remember that your power is your own."

Kaneki blinked. Swallowed. Then he gave a timid nod, and continued up the steps.

_Huh, wonder what that was about... Anyway!_

"Can I get a coffee?" Hide asked Yomo, walking up to the counter. Yomo gave him a look. Hide added, "Not for free. I have money."

Yomo narrowed his eyes at Hide. It wasn’t necessarily in a threatening way; it was more like he was examining Hide. He blinked once and suddenly his kakugan were active. Hide straightened his posture to avoid flinching. He didn’t want to show any weakness or give this ghoul the wrong idea about him.

"What's your deal with Kaneki?"

"I want to protect him and for him to be happy. Same as your guys, I assume." Hide answered smoothly.

"Why do you smell like a Dove?"

_Dove... Kaneki said that meant an Investigator, right?_

"I have a part-time job at the CCG. But I'm not an investigator. It started as a way to find and protect Kaneki when he disappeared, and I haven't quit yet. I'm just an errand boy, and I can get some information here and there. It comes in handy and it makes me less likely to be considered a suspicious person."

He didn’t know much about Yomo. Hide hoped that he could just tell the truth and hopefully this ghoul would believe him. Kaneki wouldn’t have left Hide alone if he didn’t trust Yomo as much as he trusted Touka. So Hide had nothing to fear. …Right?

"Ken seems to care a lot about you. You're going to need to earn our trust. But… I trust Ken, so I'll give you a chance."

"You're not gonna threaten to eat me or anything?" Hide asked, letting out an awkward laugh. He was honestly surprised he wasn’t being interrogated, especially after confessing he worked at the CCG.

"I don't think that's necessary.” Yomo replied coolly. “I think you already know a bunch of ghouls will be after you if you tried anything."

Hide swallowed nervously. _That's right... All of Kaneki's friends are ghouls._ If he made a mistake, he'd have a lot of people after him. Some he might not have even met yet. He didn't have any ulterior motives, but it was still unnerving that some ghouls could just be waiting for him to mess up and give them a reason to attack.

With a single blink, the ghoul’s eyes went back to their normal color. "I'll make you a coffee. On the house for today."

"T-that's not necessary!" Hide exclaimed. 

Yomo didn’t say anything else as he made a coffee. Hide sat down at the counter, wanting to start up a conversation but couldn’t come up with any good topics. It didn’t take long before the coffee was done and Yomo set a cup down. He must have known he would need to be heading off soon, because it was in a to-go cup. Yomo watched as Hide took a sip. 

Hide thought Kaneki had gotten really good at making coffee since becoming a ghoul. Hide often had Kaneki serve him when he came to Anteiku, and he could taste the improvements as the months passed. And Hide had been served by both Touka and Nishiki before as well, and their coffee had been only a little bit better than Kaneki's. 

But Yomo's... Yomo's was delicious. The best he had ever tasted.

The man chuckled at whatever surprised and content expression must have been on his face.  
Hide enjoyed a few more sips.

"Your scent also has a lot of Kaneki's mixed in with it. That might keep some ghouls away from you, but it could also attract attention from others. You might be safe inside :Re, but that doesn't mean you can't be attacked outside or around the area. Be careful and keep an eye out."

Hide nodded. "Thanks for the advice. And the coffee." He reached into his pocket and put down some money on the counter.

“Keep it.” Yomo walked a little further down the counter, going back to finishing what he was working on when Hide first arrived.

Realizing Yomo wasn't going to accept his money, Hide took it back. “Well, I’d better head off to work. Bye.”

Hide waved goodbye, and the man nodded in farewell.

\---

Kaneki walked into the apartment above :Re and wandered down the hallway. He hadn't been up there yet. There were three doors in the hallway. Walking by them, Kaneki saw the first one had a sign with Touka’s name and a small doodle of a rabbit. Kaneki smiled upon seeing it. The next doors simply had Yomo’s and Rize’s names, and appeared to also be written by Touka.

Kaneki knocked on the door marked as Rize’s.

"Come in." Rize replied softly from inside.

Kaneki opened the door to see Rize sitting on her bed, reading The Black Goat's Egg.

"Kaneki-san?" She asked. She seemed surprised.

"Can I talk to you?" 

She nodded, bookmarking her page and setting the book down. Kaneki walked over and stood a short distance away from her.

"What did you want to talk about?" She asked. She seemed so timid and soft spoken. She was fiddling with her fingers, looking at them to avoid eye contact with him. She wasn’t acting at all like the sadistic predator that had almost eaten him. And neither the mysterious, beautiful lady he had fallen in love with at Anteiku.

Kaneki wasn't sure what she thought of him. He was her prey last time she saw him. Now he’s a ghoul. He has her kagune, that had been surgically removed without her consent. Kaneki remembered the clown from the day of the incident. Someone had tried to murder her. Or maybe just weaken her...?

She seemed afraid and nervous as she continued to fidget and avoid eye contact. Why? What did she have to be afraid of? 

And then he remembered her state at Yomo's. He had kept her weakened. Kaneki had seen Nishiki starving when they fought Tsukiyama together. Nishiki hadn’t been able to activate his kagune and he wasn’t good at fighting in that condition. Rize was obviously in better shape now than the last time Kaneki saw her, but he doubted she was getting as much food as she would on her own. She was weak.

And here was her prey-turned-ghoul right in front of her. Who she hasn't seen since she scrambled his organs and stood over his dying body. Who has since mastered using his kagune, killed ghouls, cannibalized, gotten stronger. She might not know all those specifics, but it was obvious now that she knew he was stronger than her. She was thinking he might kill her. Get revenge. That’s why she was afraid. He almost felt sorry for her.

"I don't want revenge." Kaneki said.

She glanced up at him. She didn't seem to believe him.

Kaneki spoke slowly and softly. "I'm not going to hurt you. That’s not why I came. I don't think I would have been allowed up here if I wanted to."

"Then... why are you here?"

"I just want to talk." Kaneki said. "Um. How are you?"

He still wasn't used to seeing her weakened. Yomo had once again warned him of this. It still felt so strange. Kaneki had hallucinated Rize of how he remembered her. How he thought she acted. He had known she was alive for a while now, but he hadn't actually  _realized_  it until now. Until she was in front of him, in the flesh and actually able to speak with him.

Rize shrugged. "Hungry."

There was a moment of silence. Kaneki wasn’t sure how to continue the conversation.

"Is this what you wanted to talk about?" She asked. Kaneki kind of liked how she was getting her sass back. It felt more like what he had been expecting.

"No." Kaneki admitted. "I... I don't remember what I wanted to know from you."

Well, he knew, but it wasn't applicable anymore. Rize wasn't his strength. She never had been.

"Not what you expected, huh?" She scoffed.

"How…” Maybe he could still ask her anyway, “How did you get so strong?" 

"Is this a joke?" She spat.

"No." Kaneki said. "I... kind of looked up to you. It's funny, huh? I'm not making fun of you. You really are strong. I mean, you survived, didn't you?"

Rize shuddered. 

 _Touchy subject...?_  Kaneki supposed he didn't know exactly what Kanou did to her. It was pretty insensitive of him to bring it up. _Okay, next question then._

"Our date, back then. Was... was any of it real?"

Rize turned away from him.

"Could we ever have dated? Or even just been friends? Did you have any human friends? Any friends at all?"

Rize screwed her eyes shut. It was obvious she wasn't going to answer him.

Kaneki sighed and began to leave. He didn't know what he expected. Of course she wouldn't want to talk to him. Once she got her strength back, she'd probably just look down on him again. He was a ghoul now, but he was still new to the ghoul world. He hadn’t been born a ghoul, and he was constantly learning what being a ghoul meant. She’d probably treat him the same as Touka had in the beginning.

Kaneki went to leave, but Rize spoke again once Kaneki was in the doorway.

"I remember now." She whispered.

"Hm?" Kaneki asked, glancing back at her.

"You came to see me. You said... you didn't hate me."

"I did say that." Kaneki confirmed. "And I still don't."

He left their conversation at that and closed the door.

\---

The bell jingled as Hide stepped inside.

"So how was your day?" He asked, smiling at Kaneki.

"Well, :Re isn't open yet so nothing too exciting happened." Kaneki replied. This week had been pretty boring just doing random odd jobs. He couldn’t wait for :Re to actually open and start serving customers. Wow... He had never looked forward to human interaction before...

"Ugh!" Touka exclaimed to herself. "He's late."

Kaneki and Hide both gave her a questioning look.

"...Who?" Kaneki asked.

Touka smiled. "It's a surprise. Can you wait until he gets here?"

"Do you mind waiting?" Kaneki asked Hide.

"It's okay with me."

The three of them sat at a table. Touka was checking her phone and glaring at it, probably messaging whoever was supposed to be arriving. Hide was tapping his fingers on the table, the taps making out the beat of a song. Kaneki couldn’t help but let his mind wander and think about who would be visiting. It had to be one of their ghoul friends.

Touka groaned, bringing both Hide and Kaneki’s attention back to her. “Finally!” She looked away from her phone and up at the two of them. “He’ll be here any minute.”

“He’s a ghoul, right?” Hide asked.

Touka nodded. “S’that a problem?”

Hide quickly shook his head. “No. Just curious. …And I can talk about ghoul stuff? That’s not a problem with you guys or him? Is it okay for me to be here? And, what about for the future? Is there anyone you know that’d be better if I left or pretended I didn’t know about ghouls? I mean, I’d love to meet all of your ghoul friends but I understand if some of them don’t wanna meet _me_.”

“He has a point…” Kaneki said. “I never really asked anyone if they had ever told any humans their secret.” 

“I think Anteiku helping _you_ adjust to ghoul life was a first for us trusting a human.” Touka said. “Even if you weren’t exactly human. I don't think any of us had told a human that we were ghouls before.”

“Whoever is coming, do you think they’ll be okay with Hide here?” Kaneki asked, getting to the point.

Before Touka could answer, :Re’s bell jingled.

"Welcome back, Kaneki-kun!" The person called out.

"Uta-san!" Kaneki smiled. "It's been a while!"

“We’ll see how it goes.” Touka whispered to Kaneki and Hide before addressing Uta. “I’m glad you showed up, Uta-san.”

“Sorry about that. I had to finish something.” Uta apologized sheepishly. He took his sunglasses off his face and rested them on top of his head, allowing his kakugan to be visible. Then he reached into the bag at his side and dug around for something. Kaneki wondered if he even noticed Hide was here. “I have something for you, Kaneki-kun.”

“Eh? Me?” Kaneki asked. He took a step or two closer.

Smiling, Uta pulled a medium-sized box from his bag and placed it in Kaneki’s hands.

“Is this…?” Kaneki asked, eyes widening in excitement.

Uta nodded. "I found it when I went searching with Yomo. Once Touka said you were back, I decided to fix it up for you." 

"Thanks a lot, Uta-san!" Kaneki smiled. He placed it on the counter. “I thought I lost it!”

Uta’s eyes suddenly flickered to the side of Kaneki, and Kaneki felt a chill as he realized Uta was most likely now staring at Hide. He hoped Uta’s active kakugan didn’t freak him out too badly.

“Uta-san, don’t scare him. Introduce yourself.” Touka teased.

“Ah, sorry! Like she said, I’m Uta. And you are?” Uta spoke politely and held out a hand for a shake.

“Hideyoshi Nagachika.” Hide introduced, shaking his hand firmly. He didn’t seem fazed by the red eyes at all. 

“Long name.” Uta commented.

“Yeah, I’m not really a fan of it. I have most people just call me Hide.”

Hide began commenting on Uta's piercings and tattoos, and Uta happily thanked him for the compliments and started talking about them.

"They seem to be getting along well." Touka commented. She was smiling.

“Kaneki-kun,” Uta addressed Kaneki again, “did you find out what you wanted to know from Renji-kun?”

Kaneki had forgotten that he never got back to Uta. So much had happened back then. “Not as much as I had hoped for, but I think he and Yoshimura-san told me everything they knew.”

Uta smiled. “I’m glad you found out what you want to know. Neither of them are very easy people to talk to. Speaking of, is Renji-kun around?”

“I think he’s somewhere in the back.” Touka answered.

“I’ll go talk to him for a little while I’m here and then I’ll head out. It was nice to meet you Hide-kun, and nice to see you’re okay Kaneki-kun.” Uta said goodbye to them all and then headed off to search for Yomo.

Once he was gone and out of earshot, Touka let out a sigh and shook her head disapprovingly. “I don’t know how that guy hasn’t been caught by the CCG yet…”

“Can he not deactivate his kakugan or something?” Kaneki asked. He had a similar problem for months. Was that common among ghouls?

“It’s a tattoo! Can you believe it?” 

“Why would he…?” Kaneki asked. Wasn’t that… risky and, well no offense to Uta but, dumb?

Touka threw her hands up. “Who knows! He’s Uta!”

“He seems nice.” Hide jumped into the conversation.

“Yeah, he is. A little strange though.” Kaneki smiled fondly none the less.

“You weren’t scared?” Touka asked, a teasing tone coming into her voice. “Kaneki was the first time he met him!”

Kaneki rolled his eyes. “Yeah, because you dragged me down the 4th ward to a dark and abandoned alley without explaining why, into a scary-looking shop that I knew was run by a ghoul, and once inside he purposely scared me, asked personal questions for seemingly no reason, and offered me an eyeball to eat.”

Once it was out of his mouth, Kaneki regretted it and swiveled his head to look at Hide. Hide appeared a bit surprised by what he said and understandably grimaced, but he didn’t seem disgusted or afraid of Kaneki himself. Kaneki was about to apologize to Hide when Touka continued the conversation.

“I still can’t believe you followed me without even asking why!” She was laughing.

Kaneki huffed and shot back, “Well you didn’t really seem in the mood to answer questions while walking there.” 

“Yeah…” Touka pressed her lips together, trying to hold back a snicker. “Sorry.” She was such a jerk to him back then. She should feel bad about it, but in that scenario it was funny. Kaneki was so naïve back then. He still was.

“You fight almost like a married couple.” Hide commented.

“Huh?” They both asked in sync, stopping their arguing to look at Hide.

"So what is that thing?" Hide asked, changing the subject and gesturing to the Kaneki's box on the counter. He'd been wanting to know since Uta pulled it out of his bag.

"It's my mask." Kaneki said simply.

"Ooh! Put it on!!!"

"Eh? Why?"

"Because I wanna see it! I've wanted to know your ghoul alias for a while now! All I know is your mask has an eyepatch?" 

"I don't know..."

"Yeah, his mask is pretty scary." Touka added with a smirk. Just as she had hoped for, it made Hide even more curious.

"Eh?? Really? I wanna see!!! Please, Kaneki!"

"I don't know... I don't really want you to see me like that..."

"Come on, how scary can an eyepatch be?" Hide asked and rolled his eyes.

"It's not just an eyepatch. It's got a design on it too. It's kinda... creepy..."

It was amusing to the both of them to watch Kaneki awkwardly struggle to find a balance between warding Hide off while simultaneously trying not to scare him.

Hide laughed, "Just show me!"

Sighing in defeat, Kaneki opened the box, took out his mask, and put it on.

"Whoa! That's not what I expected at all!"

"I was pretty uncertain about it at first." Touka said. "It didn't really seem like his style. But it somehow looks really fitting on him. I guess I shouldn't have doubted Uta-san."

Hide nodded in agreement as he took in Kaneki wearing the mask. "It does. I like it. Hmm… The eyepatch is on the opposite side you usually wear it... Ah!” Touka flinched at his sudden outburst. Kaneki was used to it after years of being his best friend. “So that way ghouls don't know you're one-eyed!!!"

Kaneki giggled. "Yup."

"So, show me, Mr. Eyepatch!"

"Huh? Show you what?"

"Make your eye go red."

"W-Why do you want to see me like that?" Kaneki asked, pulling his mask down below his chin. He didn't like simply wearing his creepy mask around Hide, much less wearing it with only his kakugan visible.

"I wanna see it! Please? Kakugan are cool!"

Kaneki frowned. Hide gave him puppy dog eyes. Kaneki finally gave in, readjusted his mask, and let his kakugan activate. 

"Whoa! I never saw it transition before!!! That's so cool!!!" Hide cheered. 

After a few moments of Hide staring at him in awe, Kaneki deactivated his kakugan and said. “Okay, okay, that’s enough.” He was so thankful he had much better control over his eye now.

"Touka-chan, what's your mask?"

"What?"

"Do you have it with you? Can I see yours too?"

"N-no you can't see it..." Touka stammered, growing uncomfortable.

"Please? Kaneki showed me his!"

"I'm not Kaneki! I said no!"

"Aww, why not?" Hide took a step closer to her. "Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

Touka groaned, clenched her fists, and walked away from him. Hide pouted and sat down on the nearest chair. He really wanted to see it...

"I can't believe I'm doing this..." Touka muttered as she dug angrily through a large purse on the counter. She glanced at the windows to make sure the blinds were pulled, and then she took a white rabbit mask out of her bag and slipped it on her face.

Hide's face lit up. "Touka-chan!!! You did!!!"

She was such an idiot. She was becoming too fond of Kaneki's human friend. She normally wasn't this trusting. Maybe it was because she missed Yoriko...

She was the Rabbit. Hide was CCG. Whether Hide was there for Kaneki's sake or planning to betray him, it didn't even matter. If Hide knew about Kaneki's alias he had certainly heard about the Rabbit as well. Heck, she had been on the news for killing investigators! Even if Hide wasn't CCG he probably would have known!

But Hide looked so happy... So genuinely happy... 

"Rabbits are adorable, huh?" Hide asked. "Your mask looks like that rabbit from that one show. The name was… Kachikachi from Zack, right?"

"I loved it when I was younger..." Touka admitted. It was a little embarrassing. She had hoped no one would ever notice the connection.

"Me too!" Hide smiled.

"Eh? Really?" Kaneki asked.

"What? You’re surprised just because girls typically like that show?" Hide asked, faking offense.

"Huh? No, I didn't mean-!"

Hide laughed. "I know, calm down!"

“I just didn’t think it was your type of show. Then again, I never really sat down and watched it.”

“We should show it to Kaneki one day.” Touka suggested.

Hide’s face lit up again.

It meant a lot to Hide that Touka brought that suggestion up. He was getting the feeling that she was annoyed by him, maybe even hated him. He had wondered if she was putting up with him for Kaneki’s sake. Hide knew he was too enthusiastic and extroverted for some people to handle. To hear her suggest something where they could all hang out together…

“That sounds like a great idea!!! I haven’t watched it in forever!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's mentioned in the manga that Touka's mask has some resemblance to an in-universe character named Kachikachi from the series Zack. Not much information is given about it aside from the fact that its popular among high school girls, but I thought it'd be cute if Touka and Hide could have that in common, since they both like rabbits. (And this is just my headcanon based on that idea, but now I imagine Zack as the kind of show that seems all cute and innocent and girly but ends up having really deep themes in it.)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry!!! I lost some motivation and got distracted by other things for a while. Updates might still be slow, but I'll try to have the next chapter up sooner than this one.

Touka laid awake in her bed. She couldn’t believe what she did earlier. She let a human see her alias.

At the time, she had figured that it would be the opportunity to see how trustworthy Hide was. To see what his reaction was when he realizes the cute waitress from Anteiku was the murderous Rabbit. She had figured, might as well get this over with. She wanted to see if he would scream or run away.

She never would have expected him to _smile_. She could still see the excited twinkle in his eyes when she turned to face him with her mask on. He didn’t even twitch.

Just like the kind words of Nishiki’s girlfriend, this would haunt her.

“I don’t deserve this…” Touka scoffed.

Did Hide truly know what she has done? She wanted him to. She wanted him to hate her. Him, and maybe even Kaneki too. She wasn’t innocent and she wasn’t a good person. She was guilty and had blood on her hands and she could never make up for taking the lives she did. She wishes she could undo it. Somehow without trading the lives she took for anyone she cared about.

Touka thought back to Hide meeting Irimi and Koma and Uta. They’ve all done awful things and killed as well. What if Hide knew their ghoul aliases? They’d done more awful things than Touka has. Would Hide accept them then?

 _Kaneki does._ Touka thought. _But… he’s a ghoul now. That’s different._

\---

Hide smiled as he remembered earlier today. He couldn’t believe Touka trusted him enough to show him her mask. He hadn’t realized until he saw the Rabbit mask on her face how big of a deal it must have been for a ghoul. It hid their identity – their life as a normal human.

He knew the crimes she had committed. But he didn’t judge her. He had known she was the Rabbit back since the Mother and Daughter Ghoul had made it onto the news. Back then he had started researching ghouls and practicing his own investigating in case he needed it later to find Kaneki. (And he unfortunately _had_ needed it.) He had guessed back then that The Rabbit got revenge for the Mother and Daughter Ghoul, and time had proved that his theory was correct.

Despite the knowledge that she had killed out of revenge being pretty daunting, Hide had faith that she had a reason to do it or that it was self-defense. And even if it wasn’t, well, he had faith that she’s changed since then. He had seen the way Touka acted around him. She was nice and she seemed to like people. Everyone he had met so far gave off that impression. And Hide never thought of them otherwise. He knew that Kaneki would never befriend anyone dangerous or with ill-intent.

\---

“Touka-chan?”

“Sorry Kaneki, but can you make it fast? We’re opening tomorrow and I need to make sure I have everything set up.”

“I just wanted to say, thanks a lot for putting the work into contacting everyone and inviting them here. I’m glad that everyone’s safe and seem to be doing okay, and it was great to be able to see them again. Everything fell apart after the Raid but I’m glad we managed to put it all back together.” Kaneki internally cringed once he finished, hoping that didn’t sound too rehearsed.

“We got lucky.” Touka gave a sad smile. “We really did. I know we lost people, and we shouldn’t forget that, but I’m very happy that so many of them are alive and still able to see us, just as you said.”

“Did…” Kaneki hesitated. He didn’t want to bring up any subjects difficult to talk about, but he was curious at the same time. “Did this ever happen to you before?”

He felt selfish and insensitive. He still hadn’t been a ghoul for that long. He had no idea what kind of pain Touka had gone through. Had something like this happened to her before?

Touka sighed and took a seat, her plan to work forgotten. “…Kind of.”

“If it’s too hard to—”

Touka shook her head. “No, it’s fine.” She took a breath before telling her story. “Well, you met my brother Ayato. He ditched Yoshimura and I years ago. He hated humans, and got mad at me for getting close with them and deciding to go to school. He just left, and later we found out that he had joined Aogiri Tree. Sometimes I hope that one day he’ll come back and be willing to change, but… He had so much hatred back then, and I’m sure his time in Aogiri has just fueled it.”

Kaneki nodded slowly. He knew Ayato cared about her, but his love for her was hidden deep down. It would take a lot to bring it back out again, and even more to change his views.

“And when we were young, our mom got killed by Investigators. I don’t really remember her…”

Kaneki could kind of relate to that. His father died when he was 4 and he doesn’t remember anything about him. Although Kaneki couldn’t relate to what it felt like to have a loved one murdered. _Wow. I didn’t mean for our conversation to get so dark._

“And my dad got offed by them too." Touka continued. "He just… didn’t come home one day. Ayato and I knew what must have happened but we didn’t want to accept it. We were just kids. We couldn’t provide for ourselves and we couldn’t even use our kagune yet. And our stupid human neighbor…”

Touka’s eyebrows furrowed and she angrily flicked a crumpled napkin off the counter. Kaneki watched as it hit the ground, unsure of what to say. He let Touka keep talking.

“She didn’t care that we were kids. She didn’t care that we had just lost our dad – our only remaining parent. She didn’t care that we had no one left. She forced us to eat human food so that she could prove that we were ghouls and then she called the CCG. They threw nets on us like we were animals! They forced me to use my kagune before it was ready in order to save us.”

“What do you mean before it was ready?” Kaneki interrupted.

“Oh, right. I guess you wouldn’t know this, but ghouls can’t use their kagune until they’re about 8 years old.”

“And what happens if they do…?”

Wordlessly, Touka took her hand and reached behind her to pull the back of her shirt down. Kaneki heard crackling as she released her kagune and fanned it out.

Kaneki didn’t quite understand. He’d seen her kagune before and it never looked—

“Oh.” Kaneki breathed. “I’m sorry.”

Now that he had seen Ayato’s kagune and was able to compare it to hers, he understood. Ayato had two large wings of equal length. Touka had one large one on her left side, and a tiny one on her right side.

“Humans are awful…” Touka huffed. Her wings relaxed and curled against her body, as if she was hugging herself. “I was just a little girl, but I had to be strong and brave for my little brother. I had to protect him and fight, otherwise we both would have been killed. Just like Mom and Dad… I’m glad we eventually found Yomo and Yoshimura. I don’t think we would have survived long otherwise. Humans just don’t care.”

“I learned that with Hinami-chan…” Kaneki sighed. He took a few steps closer, picked up the napkin and threw it away for Touka. “It’s so frustrating. I’m sure so many people don’t even realize the CCG are targeting ghoul children. That so many of them are innocent. That ghouls are just like them.” Kaneki was certain that people would care if they knew.

“Exactly.” Touka nodded slowly.

This was probably another thing that was new to him, but ghouls went their entire lives knowing.

“Plenty of ghoul children are probably going through something similar to what you and Hinami-chan did, huh?” Kaneki asked with a grimace. It never quite occurred to him before.

“Yeah…” Touka sighed.

“If you found out that some ghouls needed help, would you help them?”

“Of course!” Touka cried. “And I’d make sure to let them _know_ that we would help them! I would protect them and fight for them, and do what Yoshimura-san was unwilling to do.” She loved Yoshimura, but she would never forgive him for wanting to send Hinami to the 24 th Ward instead of sheltering her at Anteiku.

Kaneki smiled. “I was sure you’d say that. I’m glad. That’s really nice and selfless, Touka-chan.”

“I’m not sure how good I am of a role model, though…” _I’d love to be._

“You’ll be fine, Touka-chan. You helped out Hinami-chan and she really looked up to you. I guess it might be a little more challenging to take care of someone by yourself with only Yomo-san around. I’d… like to help you out too, if you don’t mind.”

Touka blinked and could feel herself starting to blush. Did Kaneki just, indirectly, say he wanted to take care of a kid with her? They were getting older, and with Yoshimura gone and Yomo being, well, _Yomo,_ this time their roles would probably be more parental than their previous roles of being Hinami’s big sister and big brother.

Kaneki looked at the clock. “Ah, I didn’t mean to get off-topic. You should go back to work. I’m sorry for distracting you.”

“It’s okay. It was nice to talk about.”

“Oh, and Touka-chan?”

“Hm?”

“Back to what I was originally going to ask you. I know it probably takes a lot of time and work so I’m not going to ask you to keep doing it, but could you let me know where everyone ended up? I’d like to try to eventually meet up with everyone.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not stopping until we find Hinami-chan again. And actually,” She smirked, “there’s another surprise visitor for you coming later on today.”

“Can’t you just tell me who?” Kaneki asked with a groan, but a smile worked it’s way onto his face regardless.

“Nope! You’re really cute when you get all excited to see them.” Touka meant it to be a playful tease, but it came out sounding like a flirt. It was true, she loved seeing him happy, but she hadn’t intended for her comment to come off like that.

Kaneki blinked and she could see him starting to turn red.

Touka was about to stammer out a cover, but she figured she’d just make it more awkward, so she quickly turned away and went into the backroom. She had a lot of work to do if she wanted to open her shop tomorrow.

\---

“Kaneki!”

“Banjou-san!” Kaneki smiled as he jumped up from where he was sitting.

“Kaneki! It’s great to see you!” Banjou pulled Kaneki towards him and gave him a big bear hug. “We were all worried about you!”

Kaneki could hear Banjou sniffling. Did he really miss Kaneki that much?

“I missed you too, Banjou-san.” Kaneki whispered, squeezing a little tighter.

After a few moments, Banjou pulled away. Banjou heaved a breath, quickly wiped away his tears, and composed himself. Then he gave a polite nod in greeting to Touka.

“Kirishima-san.”

“Banjou.” Touka replied, giving him a nod in return. “It’s been a while.”

Banjou then looked at Hide.

“I don’t think we’ve met before?” Banjou walked up and extended a hand. Hide introduced himself and they shook hands with each other.

“Back when I, uh, left the 20th ward…” Kaneki began to explain. _You mean 'ditched him without a word',_ his mind reminded him. “Banjou was one of the members of the group I made.”

“Nice to finally meet you!” Hide chirped. He had always wondered what kinds of ghouls Kaneki had formed a group with.

“Speaking of our group…” Kaneki looked at Banjou, “Have you heard anything from Hinami-chan?” Kaneki asked.

Banjou shook his head and looked down. “I’m really sorry, Kaneki. We all grew apart and we didn’t even notice that she ran away. None of us are sure where she went. I feel responsible for her.”

“Don’t be. I was the leader. I’m the one that didn’t tell you guys what I was doing. I’m the one that didn’t come back.” Hinami leaving was no one’s fault but his own.

“Don’t put all the burden on yourself, Kaneki. We should have had more faith in you and stuck together.”

“I want to this time. I want us all to stick together and be more open with each other.”

Banjou nodded and smiled. “That sounds great. Ichimi, Jiro, Sante, and I are staying in another ward, but I’ll make sure to stay in touch and visit often.”

"Are you gonna make coffee again, Touka-chan?" Hide asked.

"You all are going to make me go bankrupt before I even get to open up my shop..." Touka muttered, but walked over to the counter anyway.

"I'm sorry,  Kirishima-san! I-I don't have enough money right now, but-" Banjou struggled.

"I was kidding." Touka said gently. "But seriously, please pay next time, okay?"

Banjou quickly nodded. "Of course!"

The four of them sat and drank coffee together and had a good time talking and catching up. Eventually it got late and Banjou had to go, and Touka said her and Kaneki should get some sleep so they could be prepared for a busy day tomorrow. They all said their goodbyes and headed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Touka's wings are the same size now in :re, but I love the headcanon of her having a deformed kagune from that childhood incident.


End file.
